Grey Matter

fun. - Some Nights

2012-02-13T19:39:00.000-08:00

So, as you may or may not know, fun., who contains a member from the much loved, dearly departed band The Format, is set to release their newest record in a couple of weeks. Well, good for you, dear reader, I have reviewed this album for your pleasure. Be sure to read it here!

Sports.

2012-02-05T22:00:00.001-08:00

It’s just a game. A game of life or death apparently… We aren’t that far at all from the days of old. Humans will always be humans, no matter how much we try to change ourselves. There is just something you can’t change about a human, and that is its humanity.

MR. DAISEY AND THE APPLE FACTORY

2012-02-02T10:33:00.000-08:00

This is one of the best ways to start your new year. Listen to something that truly matters and become informed! Knowledge is power!

Hello Blogger blog.

2011-11-18T14:21:00.001-08:00

It has been a long time since I have written anything meaningful on this blog, which is a shame. Turns out, it is much harder to find motivation when you DON'T have many school deadlines breathing down your throat. Go figure. Anyway, I will do my best to update this blog once a week with stuff that I learn or observe in the world. Because, even though I am not in school, I still learn quite a bit! Yeah, that's the plan.

Fictionist

2011-08-03T00:36:00.000-07:00

A band worth checking out!

Check it out!

This one is good too!

This is joy.

2011-07-29T14:36:00.001-07:00

Everyone and their mother needs to see this video.

Elbow - Build A Rocket Boys!

2011-04-10T18:25:00.000-07:00

I posted this on my music blog, but I want this album to get as much exposure as possible, so here it is! Enjoy!

Elbow quietly released an album last week with the fun title of Build a Rocket Boys!. Quietly is a great adjective to describe this album as a whole, with Elbow introspectively turning back to youth, love, loss, and relationships. When looking to their entire discography, one finds they continue to release quality albums, culminating in The Seldom Seen Kid (2008), winner of the Mercury Prize that year. If there was any pressure for the new album after that one, Elbow sure don’t show any of it on this one. Instead, this album is entirely comfortable in what it is; it doesn’t try to be anything that it is not, and it especially isn’t a work by a band trying to repeat success. The Seldom Seen Kid is in this sense an anomaly. Not that it is a bad album, but when held up against their other albums, it does not follow the same musical narrative as much. Build a Rocket Boys! does continue this narrative and is a welcome return to the old form of one of the best adult alternative bands in the world. Here’s a challenge for you: legally acquire all of Elbow’s music (I recommend GrooveShark) and listen to it. All of it. And not just once. Many many times. Then ask yourself, ‘Who is this Coldplay that everyone is so excited about?’

After hearing Build A Rocket Boys!, that is the exact question I ask myself. This band displays a consistency that is uncanny. They really have yet to release a bad album. While some may think that this might detract from the overall quality of their albums, it actually is a strength. You can literally hear the maturity and growth in every new album that Elbow releases.

Please acquaint yourself with this Manchester-based band. This is a band who writes about love fondly and maturely, who expresses musical poetry beautifully, and who deserves the ear of the serious music listener.

And what more can be said about this album? It is strong, it is powerful, it is mature, it is quiet. The opening track, “The Birds”, flies into such beautiful poetry and strings that I felt my mind soar away with it. On this album, the slowest songs are the catchiest ones, the ones that stick with you. There is a single, or as much of a single could exist on this beautiful piece of art: “Neat Little Rows.” Even so, buy the entire thing. One of the reasons that Radiohead was so against the idea of iTunes was that they were concerned about people just buying singles without enjoying the album as a whole. Elbow is the same way. They create albums that are complete works of art. Why would you cut off a small piece of a painting to look at? In the same way, just downloading the single is just hindering yourself from hearing a musical masterpiece.

An easy recommendation to make, and, as a plus, so far in my many listens I have heard no swearing, so it is an album safe for the whole family! Buy your copy immediately!

Build A Rocket Boys! was released in the UK and digitally on 03/07/2011. It will be released in the United States on 04/12/2011. Buy it here! Or here!

A good read.

2011-03-29T09:33:00.001-07:00

This.

A good read indeed.

A Rare Occurrence: A New Post!

2011-03-14T22:59:00.000-07:00

Author's note: It has been quite some time since I have posted on this blog. So, as I was writing a short response paper for one of my classes, I figured it would be something worth posting to the blog. This is a very short and concise response, but I hope that it may spark some discussion on the topic. Hopefully this blog still has a heart beat left, because I'm not done with it quite yet...

This year for Common Day of Learning I decided to go to a seminar that would be uncomfortable and challenging. I had the full opportunity to go another seminar on the Theology department’s distinguished student papers, something that I was interested in, but I instead decided that I should wake up early and attend the seminar on gender roles and how society views them. This would prove to be an interesting seminar.

The first thing I noticed when I got there was that the room was packed. While I had first believed that this would be one of the more under-attended seminars, it did seem that many people had the same idea as I: if anything, this seminar will be extremely interesting. As I made my way across the back wall, sliding to avoid those who were sitting on the ground (the room had run out of seats), I didn’t know what I would experience from this seminar. I got nervous, thinking that maybe it would be better to go to a seminar I would be more comfortable at. Unfortunately for me, the wall of people that were pressing to get into the room blocked my escape. Whether I liked it or not, I was trapped in this seminar.

The first person to present was a man named Noah, someone who I had seen around campus and had shared some classes with. Noah presented the movie Billy Elliot as an example of the societal constrictions that are placed on gender. Ballet is seen by the people in the movie as something that was feminine, so for Billy to want to dance the ballet was threatening to the town, especially to his father and his brother, both of whom expected Billy to continue their occupation of working in the local mines. Noah’s presentation was good, and he did a great job of showing Billy’s frustration towards this injustice. Why should society try to stop him from doing something that came so natural to him?

The next person to present was a woman who presented on Disney’s skewed perception of males and females. She showed us clips from The Little Mermaid and The Frog Princess, explaining that, while Disney had come a long way in the way it presented females (as shapely, pin-up girls as seen in The Little Mermaid), it still faltered in its presentation of males (the main character in the frog prince, the frog, was someone who boasted of his numerous romantic conquests and didn’t seem interested in committing to a lasting relationship). Her clips strengthened her argument, because they clearly showed the sexualization of Arial in The Little Mermaid and the frog’s attitude toward women. Disney needs to be help accountable for the images it presents to the youths that innocently watch their movies.

After her came a man who talked about the movie Precious and how society views the movie. Precious is not a happy movie, and the clip he showed also had the reactions of a female commentator on the film. The women in the clip used many adjectives to describe the main character in Precious as fat (she was quite overweight), but these comments came from how uncomfortable this commentator was with the movie.

And lastly Justine, someone who I have met in the past, presented the film The Women as an example of how Hollywood portrays women in crisis. Her argument was that women often just keep quiet and carry on when presented with the unfaithfulness of a spouse. The Women helped solidify her argument, based on the clips she showed to the seminar.

Overall this was a seminar that helped me better understand how society and others view gender roles and how often these roles are skewed by the media into something that doesn’t resemble reality. Instead, these movies seek to commercialize the issues that real people face, often degrading men and women to the point of caricatures. I am very pleased by this seminar and am pleasantly surprised by the quality of the arguments and the respect of the quests in the room to the presentations. This was a good Common Day of Learning to end my undergraduate time here at APU with.

Things That Make My Job Fun

2010-09-14T23:44:00.000-07:00

I work in the cafeteria at my school. This is a pretty average job and the position I hold is less challenging than others in the same location. Most of the time, my job is pretty dull and just involves me cleaning the hot bar and making sure the food and eating utensils stay well stocked for the hungry masses.

But sometimes my job gets a little more interesting than this. Sometimes I get to actually serve the food to the hungry masses. And this is what I will devote some rare blog entries to: the funny stuff that happens on the job.

Today, only a few things really stood out to me:

#1: How many girls thought that Tri-tip was fish.
I can't tell you how many times girls asked me or my fell employee if the tri-tip was fish. The first time I replied, "Nope, it's cow, but you were close!" and a lot of the people, including myself and the girl who asked the question, started laughing. The next couple of times I had to answer this question, the reply that was simply hilarious to me was: "Good! I HATE fish!". Ha ha ha! This makes my job so much fun!

#2: People asking for one of everything.
This one always gets me, because I am usually serving things like rice and corn off the cob along with some sort of meat. Ok, it makes sense to give you one piece of meat, I have to. But when you ask me for one of everything, I really want to just give you one kernel of corn and one grain of rice as well just to see what your reaction is. The only reason I haven't done this is because I'm not that much of a smart-ass to do it. But one day... maybe...

#3: When people ask for something that isn't what I am actually serving.
I am serving peas. They look like peas. They are green, and round, and are labeled on the front of the plastic sneeze shield "peas". So, when you ask for some of those beans, what exactly are you asking for? We aren't serving beans, we are serving peas. We aren't serving fish, we are serving tri-tip. Come on people; it is written right there in front of you!

In the end, I don't mind that much, because it makes my job so much more enjoyable and funny to serve people like these.

Alaska

2010-08-28T09:56:00.000-07:00

This place was great. Nature is amazing.

Welcome to Paradise! Part 6: Concluding Thoughts

2010-08-28T09:48:00.000-07:00

When one does a study on the evolution of what is considered the afterlife in early Judaism and Christianity and compares it to today, the findings are incredible. What is considered to be truth and something to be expected is actually found to be something that isn’t Biblical at all. The idea of going to heaven before resurrection, the heaven that is embodied in popular thought: a place to be reunited with loved ones and hang out with God, is found to be completely baseless from a Biblical and theological perspective. Instead, the struggle of the early Church Fathers against the Hellenistic view of immortality of the soul is thrown into the spotlight. N.T. Wright also provides constructive thoughts about how Biblical interpretation can be a dangerous weapon when not done correctly, something that happens far too often. What anyone can be sure of is this: upon dying, one of the last thing Christians can expect to hear is a Jesus in full party attire in front of a castle declaring, “Welcome to paradise!”

Welcome to Paradise! Part 5: Contemporary Theology of the Afterlife

2010-07-27T22:47:00.000-07:00

As these thoughts developed throughout time one can easily see how they culminated into the common belief of today concerning the afterlife and resurrection. By this time the common thought was that there was an immortality of the soul with the final event being the resurrection of the body. In fact, some medieval theologians, like Thomas Aquinas, insisted that the resurrection of the flesh was sound biblical teaching as compared to immortality of the soul, which was not (Wright 158). But where does the idea of the souls enjoying the presence of God in paradise come from? Michel Vovelle’s article entitled A Century and One-half of American Epitaphs sheds light on this development of popular thought. Vovelle writes that it was around 1760 when the idea of heaven as a place to wait to be resurrected cam about. It was a reaction from the church for those who had lost a loved one and sought to rejoin them; heaven was the place where this would occur (Vovelle 544).
When one turns to the words of the contemporary theologians does one understand what they believed about the afterlife as well as how much they influenced popular theology. For these theologians, and every theologian, the idea of the resurrection is given all of its support from the resurrection of Jesus Christ; without this, there would be nothing. Paul Molnar, author of the book Incarnation and Resurrection, writes that for Karl Barth, an important and well-known theologian in the 20th century, the resurrection of Jesus Christ is infinitely important to the argument for his divinity; deny it, and one denies the very God that made this all possible (Molnar 144).

Thus far, modern thinkers and theologians who have written or made assumptions about an afterlife consisting of heaven before resurrection have made grave misinterpretations about the text. Who could possibly make such a bold statement in the face of such widely held beliefs? Well, N.T. Wright, the Bishop of Durham (a very prestigious position held within the Anglican Church) has taken responsibility for these remarks. Wright, in his book Surprised by Hope, begins his argument by tearing down the presuppositions made by people in the western world: the contrast between the spirit and the material world. He writes that this sharp divide that the western world has put up is keeping them from the truth: Paul, writing about a new dwelling (often interpreted as heaven) in 2 Corinthians 4-5, is adamant in saying that this newness will be something far greater than the physicality that humans are used to (Wright 154). Remember what was written before about how Jesus’ new resurrected body was something that was far greater than his old one (he had the power to go into rooms that were completely locked as well as the power to vanish entirely!)? It is in this same vein that Wright is finding Paul is discussing: the awesomeness of what the new creation, the resurrected body, will be.

On the subject of what occurs between death and the resurrection of the flesh Wright is less forthcoming. He identifies popular thought: immediately going to heaven to wait to be resurrected (and promptly disagrees with it, as he has been doing in his entire book) or immediately going to the resurrection after death (which he also finds hard to believe) (Wright 162). Instead of agreeing with either, Wright chooses to go in the direction of what is Biblical: the dead wait patiently to be resurrected (Wright 162). When Wright does discuss what will happen when people die, one finds he supports the idea that the dead believers are in a state of expectant rest, rather than the heaven or popular thought (Wright 169). This is not the final state of rest, Wright is quick to warn, but it is a time when the dead rest in the presence of God and Jesus while they await resurrection (Wright 172). An interesting thing to note is that Wright sees no problem in calling this state ‘heaven’ but does mention that the Bible does not refer to it this way every time and has other uses for the word ‘heaven’.

Works Cited:
Wright, N. T. Surprised by Hope. New York: HarperOne, 2008
Vovelle, Michel. “A Century and One-Half of American Epitaphs (1660-1813): Toward the Study of Collective Attitudes about Death.” Comparative Studies in Society and History, Vol. 22, (1980): 534-537
Molnar, Paul D. Incarnation & Resurrection: Toward a Contemporary Understanding. Grand Rapids, Michigan: Eerdmans, 2007

Welcome to Paradise! Part 4: Early Theology of the Afterlife

2010-06-13T09:29:00.000-07:00

In order to understand how this thought about the afterlife and resurrection became so prevalent in modern theology, one must travel through history. Where else should one begin but with the church fathers? From the very beginning the traditions of Judaism (resurrection of the body) and Hellenistic thought (immortality of the soul) were in harsh opposition. N. Clayton Croy, an associate professor at Trinity Lutheran Seminary, writes that the gospel writers would have had a tough audience in the Epicureans and a willing audience in the Stoics due to their separate beliefs. The Epicureans had discounted an afterlife entirely, completely dismissing any sort of idea of an immortal soul. The Stoics, on the other hand, were sympathetic towards resurrection, though not necessarily of the body (Croy 37). These were just two of the prominent thinking groups of the Hellenistic age.

When it comes to the early church, one sees that the issue of immortality of the soul (an afterlife) and resurrection of the body were in contention. Alan Segal, a professor of religion at Barnard College, has written extensively on the topic of the afterlife and its development throughout history. It is with his book, Life After Death, that one gets a clear picture of what the early church fathers believed happened once people died. The earliest picture that exists comes from the Letter of Barnabas, which can be dated to the end of the first century. In this letter, one finds that the idea of resurrection of the flesh is “prominently displayed” (Segal 533). Segal notes that the early Christians had quite the struggle ahead of them: “they needed to explain the need for resurrection when immortality of the soul seemed both rational and satisfying as a universal human attainment” and “the Church Fathers took aim at immortality of the soul as the doctrine to defeat” (Segal 533, 534). So, one can easily see that immortality of the soul, which contributes to the doctrine of afterlife before resurrection, was in opposition to the doctrine of the Church Fathers, who sought to defeat it.

There were doctrines in opposition to resurrection of the flesh that were popular. One of these, Gnosticism, used the Gospel of Thomas to prove their point that the end goal of believers was the purification of the spirit, rather than the resurrection of the flesh, and that one could be saved by divine knowledge (Segal 337). This was one of the popular thoughts of the day that was in opposition to the church fathers and was labeled as heresy.

Resurrection of the flesh, as seen above, was not a very popular thought or idea during this time. Segal writes that this popular thought was clearly seen in Platonism, the teachings of Plato, which encouraged the idea that everyone had an immortal soul or nature. Clement of Rome, a man who served as bishop of Rome wrote that it was through salvation that one could become a part of “immortal knowledge”, which reminds one of the teachings of the Gnostics. Clement also writes that one should understand that Christians do receive resurrection of the flesh instead of a vague “immortal knowledge”. This contradiction is explained with the fact that these ideas exist in two separate letters: the second one probably not written by Clement himself (Segal 544).

Ignatius also writes about resurrection of the flesh and immortality of the soul, but he offers an interesting twist to what were two opposing thoughts. He writes that whatever the person believes when they die will happen to them (Segal 545-546). Thus, if one believes in the resurrection of the flesh, they will be resurrected into a new body when they go the God’s judgment. But if one believes in the immortality of the soul, then they will get exactly what they want: they will become like their Gods, as Ignatius writes, nothing but evil spirits (Segal 546). While this still shows that the early Christians were still very much in favor of resurrection of the flesh, the mention of the existence of immortality of the soul, if one is to take Ignatius seriously, is something that is argued here to actually be a possible outcome.

As one goes further through time toward the present age, one finds that the Church Fathers became more and more accepting of the idea of immortality of the soul. Resurrection of the flesh was still the most important thing to attain from God, but immortality of the soul was a possibility. Justin, an early Church Father, writes that it is folly to only consider afterlife solely the immortality of the soul (Segal 564). His acknowledgment of immortality of the soul as a valid afterlife shows how far the Church Fathers have come from a theology that was solely the resurrection of the flesh. Irenaeus agrees with Justin, albeit from two generations after the fact. He writes that when one discounts the resurrection of the flesh they deny God the power that He is due (Segal 565).

By the time the apostolic age draws to a close, the church fathers have accepted immortality of the soul as a valid theological idea. The two greatest of these early theologians, Origen and Augustine, offer their own opinions on immortality of the soul and resurrection of the flesh. Origen supported a more philosophical interpretation to the afterlife, viewing a material existence as a punishment (Segal 573). When people are finally resurrected, after living in a perfect spiritual form, their bodies will not be the flesh of before, but rather a spiritual body (Segal 573). Augustine, on the other hand, disagreed with this philosophical view and leaned toward a more traditional view when it came to theology. He did support the idea of resurrection of the flesh, but he recognized the things that made the earthly flesh so sinful and concluded that they could not be a part of this new body. He argued that one needed this body in order to have an identity as well as to have the ability to truly worship God (Segal 580). It is at the Parousia that humans will be resurrected into their final forms, giving support to the theory that there will be an afterlife before resurrection; the soul, according to Augustine, “immortal but only in the intermediate state” (Segal 583). Augustine provides a good summation of how the theology of the afterlife has developed through the Church Fathers.

Works Cited:

Croy, N. Clayton. “Hellenistic Philosophies and the Preaching of the Resurrection (Acts 17:18, 32).” Novum Testamentum, Vol 39 (1997): 21-39

Segal, Alan F. Life After Death. New York: Doubleday, 2004

Welcome to Paradise! Part 3: The Biblical Idea of Resurrection

2010-05-13T14:56:00.000-07:00

Resurrection in the Bible was a very interesting and not very talked about subject. One of the first occurrences of resurrection in the Old Testament is in Ezekiel 37, which is a narrative about how God will restore Israel. How He does this is very interesting indeed: God takes Ezekiel to a valley of bones and, before Ezekiel’s very eyes, the bones are given muscle and flesh until a vast army stands before him. While this does nothing to give any insight into the theology of the Old Testament, it does show that the idea of resurrection was present, if not only for a teaching demonstration by God. A more definitive example of resurrection in the Old Testament is seen in Daniel 12:2-3, “2Many of those who sleep in the dust of the earth shall awake, some to everlasting life, and some to shame and everlasting contempt. 3Those who are wise shall shine like the brightness of the sky, and those who lead many to righteousness, like the stars forever and ever.” The clear description of those who “sleep in the dust” brings back memories of Adam being created by God from dust and the warning given to both Adam and Eve in Genesis 3:19 “Remember, O man, that you are dust, and unto dust you shall return. (Emphasis mine).” So the book of Daniel is clearly about people rising from the dead to regain life again, or, on the other side, eternal death. It was mentioned before that the book of Daniel was clearly influenced by the Babylonian Exile, so it’s interpretation needs to take note of this. Also, it is important to note that not all of the Jewish religious sects of the time even acknowledged the fact that resurrection could even happen. The New Bible Dictionary notes that a prominent religious group, the Sadducees, even denied that there could be resurrection at all (New Bible Dictionary 1010). But this is not true for all of the people of Judaism.

It is when one arrives at the New Testament does one find resurrection discussed numerous times. The most important mention, of course, is the resurrection of Jesus Christ. How important is this resurrection? For one, it is the basis for an entire religion; without it, there is no Christianity. Paula Cooey, a professor of religion at Macalester College, writes, “the resurrection articulates the beginning of the future in any given present for Christians” (Cooey 172). This resurrection’s importance is not lost on the early Christian authors either, with Paul noting, “[Jesus is] the first fruits of those who have died,” (1 Corinthians 15:20). Not everyone was on board with this idea of a resurrection, as this paper will expound on below. A. J. M. Wedderburn, a New Testament professor at the University of Munich, notes that the letter to the Corinthians was written in response to critics of resurrection, with Paul emphasizing how important the event actually was, (Wedderburn 230).

Because Jesus Christ died and rose again after three days, new possibilities were open up to his followers as well. Jesus is noted in Matthew 22 responding to the Sadducees that resurrection was a fact, and that men who are resurrected are “like angels in heaven”. The surprising part about this verse is that it came before Jesus brought himself back from the dead; so even before his resurrection this was a possibility. Also, something to note is the interpretation of the last part of what he said: men will be “like angels in heaven”. One possible way to interpret this verse would be to say that people, after death, would join the angels in heaven. But, what could be considered a more accurate interpretation comes from a study of the text and how the angels are described as awesome beings, which the people were terrified of. Therefore, men becoming like angels could also be interpreted as men’s new bodies being awesome in appearance. Or, as Christopher Moreman, author of the book Beyond the Threshold, notes, this may in fact just be in reference the spiritual element of the resurrection, (Moreman 57). Jesus himself exhibited some of these properties: after his resurrection he often was not recognized by the people that knew him (Luke 24:16) and could appear in a room with his disciples after they had locked all of the doors (John 20:19). The resurrected body was not one that would just mirror the current body, but open up new possibilities and surpass the old body. This resurrection became the staple of the new believer’s theology, and everyone, even unbelievers, would experience it, although his or her eternity would be an eternity of judgment (John 5:29).

Works Cited
Cooey, Paula M. “Resurrection of the Body: Finding a Misplaced Future.” Buddhist-Christian Studies, Vol. 12 (1992): 167-173

Freedman, David Noel. The Anchor Bible Dictionary. London: Doubleday, 1992

Moreman, Christopher M. Beyond the Threshold. New York: Rowman and Littlefield, 2008

Wedderburn, A. J. M. “The Problem of the Denial of the Resurrection in I Corinthians XV.” Novum Testamentum, Vol. 23 (1981): 229-241

Welcome to Paradise! Part 2: The Biblical Idea of Heaven

2010-05-06T11:55:00.000-07:00

The Biblical idea of heaven is one that has evolved over time. One of the most practical ways to define what heaven meant to the people of antiquity would be as what was above them at all times. Their idea of the world could be described in three-levels: the underworld, the world, and the heavens. More specifically, heaven for the people of the Bible, the Israelites, was the dwelling place of God. Isaiah 6:1 tells of God sitting on His throne above the earth being worshiped and Psalm 11:4 specifically talks about God’s throne: “The Lord is in his holy temple; the Lord’s throne is in heaven. His eyes behold, his gaze examines humankind”. This imagery of heaven being the throne of God are very popular in the Old Testament writings as well as the New Testament, with John describing heaven in Revelation 4-5 as God seated on a heavenly throne.

Heaven was not just a place where God dwelt though; there are other instances in the Bible of events having to do with heaven. One of the most popular is the narrative in Exodus that describes manna falling from heaven to feed the wandering Israelites. Humanity also was able at certain times to enter heaven, with the story of Enoch’s disappearance in Genesis 5:24 and the story of Elijah’s ascension by fiery chariot in 2 Kings 2:1-12 being the prime examples. This was not to say that when people died they went to heaven though. In Hebrew cosmology there was a place known as the Sheol, which is where people’s spirits went when they died. But other examples of humans just visiting heaven also exist in the New Testament as well, with Paul’s narrative in 2 Corinthians 12:2-4 and the Revelation of John being examples of this. They were able to get a glimpse of what God’s dwelling place looks like and their descriptions lend credence to the fact that heaven is a place that is simply indescribable (although they do their best).

It was with the development and invasion of Hellenistic thought that morphed people’s idea of heaven being a credible place for the afterlife. While Judaism does not subscribe to this thought, Christianity, starting out as a Jewish sect, has fully embraced it. In Hellenism, the common thought is that there is immortality of the soul, something that was never really touched upon in the Bible before the New Testament (Freedman 92). Such passages in the Bible that lend support to the idea that heaven is the dwelling place for those who die can be found in Luke 23:43 with Jesus telling a man who was being crucified with him “Today you will be with me in paradise”. I Thessalonians 4:13-18 and Revelation 7:9-17 both give examples of humanity in heaven or before the throne (which could also be an allusion to heaven, as seen above) of God during the end times.

But, as the Anchor Bible Dictionary notes, the state of those who have died before the end times is never clearly seen in the Bible (Freedman 93). The closest one might come to finding Biblical passages that support the idea are both found within Paul’s writings (Freedman 93). Philippians 1:21-24 contains Paul writing that he would like to “depart and be with Christ” and 2 Corinthians 5:1-10, where Paul alludes that God has a dwelling that believers may go to if the earth is destroyed. Both of these examples are not specific instances of someone dying and having their soul go up to heaven to be with God but rather parts of the Bible that have likely been misinterpreted or twisted to fit an agenda, which often can be the case.

WORK CITED
Freedman, David Noel. The Anchor Bible Dictionary. London: Doubleday, 1992

Welcome to Paradise! Part 1

2010-04-26T09:33:00.000-07:00

Whenever one asks another person what they believe will happen to them when they die, the most common answer is “I am sure that I will go to heaven.” For centuries this has been the common thought in Christianity, often becoming a core part of people’s own theologies. But how accurate is this actually? When one consults the Bible to find answers, they will be left without much support either way. Heaven does exist in the Bible, but there are very few mentions of humans actually going there, and when there are, these humans often just get a glimpse of it rather than go there when they die. So, where does this common opinion come from then? This paper will argue that the idea of heaven before resurrection is one that is not rooted in the truths of the Bible but rather and idea that has arisen from the influence of other religions and recent popular thought.

Welcome to Paradise!: An Introduction

2010-04-25T22:21:00.000-07:00

As of late I have neglected this blog, something that I should be held completely responsible for. But, to make up for the grievous error, I have decided to post a paper that I have written for a theology class entitled 'Welcome to Paradise!' In this paper I systematically go through the Biblical and Theological view of heaven and resurrection and come to some interesting conclusions. I want to share it on this blog for two reasons:

1. This is a subject that is often not discussed in churches, and the result is that many people walk around with an idea that actually isn't Biblically or theologically accurate. This paper, I believe, offers discussion about the truth behind the idea of Heaven and resurrection that is beneficial to think about.

2. I often do not receive any input on my papers except from my teachers, who often say things all across the board, ranging from 'incomplete and lacking' to 'good use of resources but needs more author's voice'. I need more criticism, whether positive or negative! I trust you, dear reader, to offer me this criticism. Be as honest as possible; I need it.

So, in the next couple of weeks (or whatever) I will post my paper based on the divisions that I have written into it, beginning with the introduction tomorrow (or whenever).

I hope that you will be able to enjoy a paper that I am thinking about being proud of, but I'm not sure yet.

Check back for the posts!

Why Some Things Never Work.

2010-04-23T21:27:00.000-07:00

It always confused me about how much people that I know make fun of those who identify themselves as Catholics. Whether it be at a bible study that I was attending or just a simple church event, there would always be that one person who thought it would be funny to poke fun at Catholics. Sure, they may give too much emphasis on the virgin Mary as a near-deity and are very traditional, but does that completely negate their Christianity? My friends would seem to think so and when they would refer to them it would be in the context of Catholicism being a completely different religion. As in, 'we are Christians and they are Catholics'. Like I said, this would always confuse me and I would be sure to point out that there are fundamental beliefs shared between both groups that are necessary to be called Christians, namely a belief in Jesus Christ being God. Both agree on that key (the most important!) point, yet there is still a huge gulf between these two groups, even though both are under the same religion! Now, the only people who identify themselves as Catholics that I know either have renounced their faith entirely or aren't that close to me, so I can't really give the opinion of a Catholic here.

Instead I can continue into my main point (how convenient!). Today in my theology class we continued our lecture on Ecclesiology, or the study of the Church. As you might have guessed, this involves identifying what makes the church, well, the church. We have learned about the rich history of Christianity, and by rich I mean really messed up. Christianity is made up of a bunch of people who either can't stand each other, or are the most stubborn people of all time. They can never agree on anything and they just enjoy screwing with each other, even to the point of killing one another! I can safely call Christianity one of the most destructive and utterly confused religions of all time. Even the point that everyone should agree on, (the divinity of Jesus), is divisive, even within the church!

And it is this division within the church that brings me to my point. At some point in our lecture my teacher listed the mission of the church: Exaltation, Edification, and Evangelism. Exaltation is the the call to worship God in a community of believers. Now, notice that for this entire post I have refrained from using the word church with the capital C (i.e. Church). This is because church with a capital C specifically refers to the Catholic Church, and this post is about the church, the entire practicing group of Christians. This is where the most important point about Exaltation comes in: as a church, Christians are far from united; we are far from a community of believers. Without this unity Christians are unable to perform any of the tasks of the church to the best of our ability: namely Exalting, Edifying, and Evangelizing. Instead, we appear to be an aimless, selfish, stubborn, empty shell of what we could be. And that is exactly what we are. I have always wondered what about the Gospel was so unappealing to people that were exposed to it yet continued to reject it. After all, the word Gospel literally means good news. Why would people reject this?

You know what it is? It is us. The church. The Christians. We preach a Gospel with our mouths and live a lie with our actions. We preach a gospel of reconciliation and fight amongst ourselves about the stupidest shit. We call people to forgive all, yet we don't forgive anyone, least of all ourselves. We are living the biggest tragedy in human history and we are doing nothing about it. We have divided ourselves into three separate sub-religions (Roman Catholicism, Eastern Orthodox, and Protestantism) by choice! And there is no progress being made to reunite ourselves under one church, one voice, ONE GOD! Instead we bicker, build ourselves up, and push others down. No wonder no one wants anything to do with Christians. I certainly don't.

How can we fix this problem? I have no idea. The wound is so deep and has been festering for so long. Whatever Jesus Christ intended for the church has been (for lack of a better word) fucked up. We have been entrusted with telling the world of the greatest redemption story of all and we messed up. How can you fix something that has been messed up for so long? In my studies I have found a simple solution for people who desire a change: stop caring about the end times. Stop putting all of your hope in Jesus coming down on a white horse from heaven to fix all of your retarded problems. It has become so prevalent in American (yes, SPECIFICALLY AMERICAN) culture to keep one eye to the heavens, waiting for Jesus. And in our waiting for Jesus we neglect to do exactly what he has commanded us to do. Well, guess what Jesus told us to do? He told us not to wait for him, but 'Blessed is that slave whom his master will find at work when he arrives'. Why does everything have to be about the end times? If there is one thing NO ONE knows, it is when these times will happen (if they ever do[!]). Therefore, I suggest that we abandon the selfishness that has poisoned our beliefs and start to live a life of love for our God and love for our neighbors.

I am ready to live this life. Are you?

Bonhoeffer's Religionless Christianity

2010-02-27T18:54:00.000-08:00

To Eberhard Bethage, April, 1944:
What is bothering me incessantly is the question what Christianity really is, or indeed who Christ really is, for us today. The time when people could be told everything by means of words, whether theological or pious, is over, and so is the time of inwardness and conscience--and that means the time of religion in general. We are moving toward a completely religionless time; people as they are now simply cannot be religious anymore. Even those who honestly describe themselves as "religious" do not in the least act up to it, and so they presumably mean something quite different by "religious."

Our whole nineteen-hundred-year-old Christian preaching and theology rest on the "religious a priori" of mankind. "Christianity" has always been a form--perhaps the true form--of "religion." But if one day it becomes clear that this a priori does not exist at all, but was a historically conditioned and transient form of human self-expression, and if therefore man becomes radically religionless--and I think that that is already more or less the case (else how is it, for example, that this war, in contrast to all previous ones, is not calling forth any "religious" reaction?)--what does that mean for "Christianity"? It means that the foundation is taken away from the whole of what has up to now been our "Christianity," and that there remain only a few "last survivors of the age of chivalry," or a few intellectually dishonest people that we are to pounce in fervor, pique, or indignation, in order to sell them goods? Are we to fall upon a few unfortunate people in their hour of need and exercise a sort of religious compulsion on them? If we don't want to do all that, if our final judgment must be that the Western form of Christianity, too, was only a preliminary stage to a complete absence of religion, what kind of situation emerges for us, for the church? How can Christ become the Lord of the religionless as well? Are there religionless Christians? If religion is only a garment of Christianity--and even this garment has looked very different at different times--then what is a religionless Christianity?

The questions to be answered would surely be: What do a church, a community, a sermon, a liturgy, a Christian life mean in a religionless world? How do we speak of God--without religion, i.e., without the temporally conditioned presuppositions of metaphysics, inwardness, and so on? How do we speak (or perhaps we cannot now even "speak" as we used to) in a "secular" way about God? In what way are we "religionless-secular" Christians, in what way are we those who are called forth, not regarding ourselves from a religious point of view as specially favored, but rather as belonging wholly to the world? In that case Christ is no longer an object of religion, but something quite different, really the Lord of the world. But what does that mean? What is the place of worship and prayer in a religionless situation?

The Pauline question of whether [circumcision] is a condition of justification seems to me in present-day terms to be whether religion is a condition of salvation. Freedom from [circumcision] is also freedom from religion. I often ask myself why a "Christian instinct" often draws me more to the religionless people than to the religious, but which I don't in the least mean with any evangelizing intention, but, I might almost say, "in brotherhood." While I'm often reluctant to mention God by name to religious people--because that name somehow seems to me here not to ring true, and I feel myself to be slightly dishonest (it's particularly bad when others start to talk in religious jargon; I then dry up almost completely and feel awkward and uncomfortable)--to people with no religion I can on occasion mention him by name quite calmly and as a matter of course.

The transcendence of epistemological theory has nothing to do with the transcendence of God. God is beyond in the midst of our life. The church stands, not at the boundaries where human powers give out, but in the middle of the village...How this religionless Christianity looks, what form it takes, is something that I'm thinking about a great deal, and I shall be writing to you again about it soon. It may be that on us in particular, midway between East and West, there will fall a heavy responsibility.

To Eberhard Bethage, July 18, 1944:
[Religious man] must therefore live in the godless world, without attempting to gloss over or explain its ungodliness in some religious way or other. He must live a "secular" life, and thereby share in God's sufferings. He may live a "secular" life (as one who has been freed from false religious obligations and inhibitions). To be a Christian does not mean to be religious in a particular way, to make something of oneself (a sinner, a penitent, or a saint) on the basis of some method or other, but to be a man--not a type of man, but the man that Christ creates in us. It is not the religious act that makes the Christian, but participation in the sufferings of God in the secular life.

To Eberhard Bethage, July 21, 1944:
During the last year or so I've come to know and understand more and more the profound this-worldliness of Christianity. The Christian is not a homo religiosus, but simply a man, as Jesus was a man...

- From Letters and Papers from Prison by Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Why I Want to Go to Hell

2010-02-03T11:29:00.001-08:00

When you tell people you believe (or hope for) universal reconciliation the knee jerk reaction is that you don't believe in hell.

Well, I believe in hell. I believe in hell for two reasons.

First, humans have committed horrific evils and the notion that God's wrath isn't kindled in the face of these atrocities is ludicrous. Universalism isn't some sweet, wishy washy, lovey dovey position. Victims demand justice. Evil needs to be punished. I think it very clear that Jesus speaks about God's moral fury in very harsh eschatological language.

But the second and perhaps more shocking reason I believe in hell is because I want to go to hell. I need to go to hell.

Here's the deal. God hates sin. As do I. Hell is the biblical metaphor for this Divine fury. Consequently, I don't want to be saved from the consequences of my sin. I don't want a get out of jail free card. If I am selfish, petty, or vindictive then I want to be free from those sins, not from their consequences. As the Advent readings told us, Jesus came to set us free from sin. Not from hell. Hell is how we get freed from sin. Hell is a mutual participation between God's wrath and my own, directed at those aspects of my life that are stupid, selfish or shameful. I hate it when I act like a jerk to my children or family or anyone else. And that hatred is a participation in the wrath of God, a participation in hell. And this wrath isn't self-loathing, depressive or neurotic. It's the simple and healthy recognition that I have moral work to do in my life. And anger is a wonderfully motivating emotion. I believe in hell because I need it. We all need it. And the worst thing you could tell me is that I'd be rescued from it.

I don't want to live in eternity as I am right now. I don't want God to see Jesus when he sees me. I want God to see me, honestly, in all my sin and failure. True, God will be upset with that vision. As am I. God's grace is the fact that God won't destroy me for these failures, God will not treat me according to my sin. Jesus died for me, loved me, while I was a sinner. That much is clear. So grace isn't the removal of consequences. It is, rather, the notion that consequences aren't the issue anymore. God is on my side. He always has been. It's unconditional love. With that out of the way this means God and I can get on with the business of fighting the sin in my life. Being perfect as my heavenly Father is perfect. And God and I do this together. That's why hell is a manifestation of God's grace. Hell is a partnership, the hard and often hellish work God and I do together to help me conform to the image of Christ.

This is, obviously, a odd view of hell. But it is simply the logic of the parenting metaphors in the bible, that God is a loving Father. All parents want their children to move from extrinsic to intrinsic motives in their moral development. That is, early in life the threat of pain (e.g., a spanking) keeps me on the straight and narrow. An aversive consequence from the outside motivates me. But, as we all know, if I stay stuck with these external motivations I fail to develop into a decent person. I'll only do good for a reward and I'll only avoid vice because I might get caught. What we want from our children is for them to shift from these extrinsic motivations toward intrinsic motives. We want our children to start doing good for issues associated with identity, character, and joy. We want them to good because they want to, not because they have to.

In my comments about hell above I'm making a similar argument. As long as hell remains an extrinsic motivator, an external consequence, then our moral development remains stagnant. The same goes for heaven. And we all know this. Trying to be good to "go to heaven" always strikes self-reflective people as ridiculous.

In short, we need to move hell from the extrinsic to the intrinsic. I shouldn't fear hell like a child fears a spanking. Rather, as I spiritually grow I internalize hell, I participate in the wrath of God, living by its logic. Further, as a child grows morally his goal isn't to escape punishment but to face the consequences of his choices courageously and with integrity. (Emphasis mine) And, yes, if you've ever faced up to the messes you've made in life, that experience is hell. In AA it's called the 12 Steps.

Is this works-based righteousness? No. I can't do it myself. I need grace. I need hell.

Praise be to God.

By Richard Beck via Experimental Theology

Grey Matter: I'm still processing this post. What do you think, dear reader?

I enjoy thinking.

2010-01-26T09:08:00.000-08:00

Here is an article about the theology of natural disasters. I found it to be quite interesting. Read away!

In the Opinion section of Sunday’s New York Times, literary critic James Wood (who I mentioned a few months back was at the n+1 panel on Evangelicals and Intellectuals and subsequently mentioned in my opinion piece on that subject) contributed an essay entitled “Between God and a Hard Place.”

The essay explores two ways that God has been attributed to the earthquake in Haiti and offers a bit of historical perspective to the genre of preaching he refers to as the “earthquake sermon.” In the span of two paragraphs we travel with Wood through London and Lisbon, hear the voices of Leibniz, Voltaire and even John Wesley before landing on our very own “earthquake-sermonizer,” Pat Robertson.

In mentioning Leibniz, Wood obviously directs the reader to the concept of “theodicy.” For those not familiar with the term it is essentially the continued belief in the goodness of God in the face of evil. Robertson’s response, Wood explains, is “classic theodicy.”

It seems that James Wood is not the only writer considering this idea around the events in Haiti. Leon Wieseltier, literary editor at the New Republic (where Wood worked before moving to The New Yorker) offers a critique of theodicy on similar grounds as Voltaire’s original critique depicting it as an unfounded optimism. After offering quotes from former Presidents Clinton and Bush as well as Ban Ki-Moon and Bernard Kouchner in which the common threads are hope and optimism, Wieseltier concludes, “What else were they going to say? But something is amiss with this notion of policy as theodicy. For it may well be that anything is not possible.”

Wood’s reflection continues beyond the theodicy of Pat Robertson onto the reflection of President Obama on the Haiti disaster and decides that though “the literal meaning of Mr. Obama’s phrase is not so far from Pat Robertson’s hatefulness,” that the President was actually using language in which “punishment and mercy lives on unconsciously, well after the actual theology has been discarded.”

These terms set, Wood’s essay comes to the conclusion that “either God is punitive and interventionist, or as capricious as nature and so absent as to be effectively non-existent.”

But, of course, there’s a third option (and probably fourth, fifth and sixth options as well) that, though perhaps marred in contemporary parlance, may in some way be even more theologically accurate. That is, frankly, “Shit happens.”

Certainly God is sovereign. It is a great mystery that perplexes everyone from children in Sunday school to the most learned theologians; God gives us free will and yet knows what will happen. God created the world, gave it laws of nature, set it in motion and knows how it will end.

There are certainly examples of God using natural disasters in the Bible, particularly in the Old Testament, as a means of carrying out his will on earth. But as John Mark Reynolds points out at Evangel, a passage in Luke addresses the question of “whether natural disaster are because the victims are somehow worse than others.”

Apparently, a tower fell and killed eighteen people and Jesus says quite explicitly, “do you think that they were worse offenders than all the others who lived in Jerusalem? No, I tell you; but unless you repent, you will all likewise perish.”

Human nature seems to always trend toward the extremes. Either God causes earthquakes and therefore is mean or God doesn’t exist. Many of us, however, live out our lives in the middle. Content to grasp at the mystery, constantly trying to illuminate the dark glass through which we now see. In light of this, the hope that rises from a disaster like the earthquake in Haiti is founded in a belief that though we can’t always understand God, we believe God is good. We are not left to the extremes of evil or non-existent, we are content that God is better, smarter and more loving than us and, ultimately, somehow, in control.

By Jonathan Fitzgerald

via patrolmag.com

a thought

2009-11-05T23:12:00.000-08:00

i can understand that you don’t like certain bands. i don’t like certain bands. but why do you (i)(we) go out of your (my)(our) way to tell people that they are dumb for liking the music you (i)(we) don’t like? it’s one thing to not like a band. it’s another entirely to tell the entire world that it is your (my)(our) opinion that is right, and that all of their opinions are wrong. it’s seriously become a measure of intelligence in some way. like, when i am talking to a girl about music, and she says lady gaga is her favorite band, in my head i silently say, ‘oh, that’s because you are a dumb girl who only cares about parties and getting drunk’. or in other cases i think, ‘oh, you like rap because you enjoy disrespecting women’. and it is then that i believe that i am better than them, because i listen to ‘insert band name here’. why the hell do you (i)(we) think this is right? where do you (i)(we) get off thinking and believing things like that?

2009-10-29T10:42:00.001-07:00

Theodicy (thē-ŏd'ĭ-sē)
n. pl. the·od·i·cies

A vindication of God's goodness and justice in the face of the existence of evil.

from where i sit

2009-10-19T02:40:00.000-07:00

i feel more and more that there are essential needs that come with being human. i believe the most important of these needs (for there are others) are as follows (in no particular order):

the need for love
the need for food
the need for understanding

without the second one, we'd die. and the first, while it doesn't seem like it is as important, i also believe we die without.

but it is the last one that i am seeing more and more as something extremely important. as humans we always seek to understand everything that we can. sure, there are examples of people who seem like they just don't really care, but when you pierce through the shroud that covers their heart, you will see that they too possess this need. without understanding, we almost see no point. the instant someone feels like they will never understand something is the point where they lose interest in it. (side note: it is a miracle i am continuing to be interested in m-theory and electromagnetism [and the greater universe that surrounds us]. i do not understand it at all, but i still find pleasure in learning more about it). but still, we have a drive to discover new things, to conquer new puzzles that we encounter in life. and then we come to that one thing in life humans have been struggling to understand since the first time we encountered it: God.

i guess my real question is: can we understand truly what is impossible to understand?

this seems like a contradictory statement, and in a way it is. God (that is, the God of Judaism and Christianity specifically) names Himself in Exodus 3:14 in answer to the question 'who are you?' with this:

I AM WHO I AM.

what it seems like God is saying to Moses is this: you will never understand me,

I AM WHO I AM.

but this goes against everything that makes the world the way it is. we always find ways to understand things, even crazy things, like black holes, and space in general. yet this Being tells us that we will never understand It. and that sucks.

we try to understand God, man, we try so hard. we spend lifetimes pouring over whatever texts we have depicting man's relationship with God. we try to interpret the situations that come up in life in such a way that we maybe (just maybe) see a glimpse of who God is. we look to historical figures who seem to have the answers, testing what they say, trying to understand it. we go to church, believing that this will, once and for all, piece together the puzzle.

and yet, we do not understand God. and according to God, we never will.

the repercussions of this are not lost on me, the lowly college student. i, in all of my limited amounts of wisdom, will never understand God. not even close. every time i think i have God cold, something manages to challenge what i believe with much strength and ferocity. needless to say, my beliefs are challenged every single day i breathe, and not from skeptics that seek to question my faith, but from myself. from my life. from the lives of my friends and families. from what i see in the world around me.

so what? should one give up hope in understanding God? it seems like people do this, those who claim to have "blind faith". but, in a way, isn't that claiming to understand God, who says that it is impossible?

but when God says it is impossible, does that mean we should stop trying?

i don't know.

i don't think so.

i have come to a place in my life where i have almost no surprise anymore when a fundamental belief i had in God gets challenged. i almost expect it now. and in a way, i love it. i love when i am in my Hebrew Prophets class and we discuss a new way of interpret what the prophets are saying in a way that goes against one of my beliefs.

it is relieving to know that i do not understand God. i ask the question, who are you, God? and God answers:

I AM WHO I AM.

it makes me want to learn more.

2009-10-15T00:37:00.000-07:00

“The essential error is not in how man depicts God, but in depicting Him at all… Imagination and God are not the same.”

-Abraham Heschel

i don't know why

2009-10-10T03:01:00.000-07:00

but this year has been the year of nights where i really don't want to go to sleep. not to say that i am not tired, because i am really tired. but for the first time in my life sleep just doesn't offer the peace and re-charge that it used to. and my roommate talks in his sleep all the time, which is part funny part suck.

but i don't know. sleep used to be one of my favorite activities. but now it looks like my favorite activities are listening to music (which i am doing right now) and doing nothing. its a pretty dismal existence if i do say so myself. where did my drive go?! where did my passion go?! i have glimpses of what it was like to want to achieve my goals, but they are fleeting.

i liked to say that i live day by day. but that was never really true, because i found that i am a bit of a nervous planner, so living in the day was near impossible. but now, it has happened. i am literally living day by day. i have no plans other than passing my classes, which is definitely harder this year than it was last year. maybe junior year is that last tall hill i need to get over to graduate. and man, this hill is very very tall.

and im getting tired of climbing it. but i keep going; but for whom? for myself.

i go to a christian school, and so there is a lot of emphasis placed on moving beyond self. and that is GOOD! being selfish and prideful is never good, and it sucks. but there are somethings in life that you just do for yourself. not because you are selfish or anything. just because it is all for you personally. my major, while it may/will benefit others down the road, will not have any immediate positive change on other's lives for at least another 6 years. so, for now, it is all for me. i am in my major to graduate college and move on to the next level of education.

im not doing it for you.

im thinking a lot more than i ever have before. that is basically my usual routine i guess at night. i finish whatever homework i have due in the next couple of days, unless it is a paper, then i finish it the night before. and then i brush my teeth and climb into bed. and lie there. tick tick tick goes my digital clock (which makes no noise). eyes closed. thinking.

about everything. and nothing.

i want to grow a beard.

2009-10-05T10:33:00.000-07:00

"Theology is an enterprise in whose performance one question can all too easily be forgotten: For what purpose? Of course, this question may and should be set aside for the moment. Study is impossible when a student supposes he has to know and impatiently ask along every step of the way: Why do I need just this or that thing? How shall i begin to put this to use? Of what value is this to me in the community and the world? How can I explain this to the public, especially to modern men? He who continually carries such questions about in his heart and upon his lips is a theological worker who can scarcely be taken seriously either in his prayer or in his study. He who never lets himself be totally involved, or at least seriously engaged, by theological problems as such, but who concerns himself with them only in order subsequently to elevate himself by means of ready-made and patent solutions, will definitely not be able to say anything proper to the people. Much less will he be able to say the one thing that is fitting. The one right thing that will be said only after the theologian’s first endeavor has been to make personal acquaintance with something that is relevant, right, and proper. And he had better not immediately thereafter glace furtively at this or that practical application. The theological beginner should concentrate on his study in its own right during his first few years at the seminary or university, for these years will not return. It is no doubt unwise, if not dangerous, when, instead of such concentration, the beginner flings himself beforehand into all sorts of Christian activities and ruminates on them, or even stands with one foot already in an office of the Church, as is customary in certain countries."
-Karl Barth, Evangelical Theology: An Introduction

Gasoline

2009-09-17T13:50:00.000-07:00

So you tried to put a fire out, but you used gasoline
When the congregation gathered round,
It’s screaming ‘it wasn’t me’.

So there’s a sickness that is going round, no one’s got a vaccine.
Think we're treading holy water, I think it’s time we all come clean.

I swear it’s like trying to catch a ghost,
Like I’m dying to hold smoke.
It feels like I’m trying to catch a ghost,
It’s like I’m dying to hold smoke.

When the army had to hold the line, you were nowhere near the front;
Before the kids could tell the dog goodbye, you were loading up your gun.
I want to know what is the great divide,
I want to know what I’ve become.
You’re thinking no one else is lonesome, you think that you’re the only one.

It feels like I’m jumping towards a train,
It feels like I’m jumping towards a train.

We all try to fake a way!

It feels like I’m jumping towards a train,
It feels like I’m jumping towards a train.

We all try to fake a way!

-Brand New

also:

DiS: There's internet rumours that Daisy is going to be the last Brand New record?

Jesse Lacey: I don't think that will be true. It might be our last full-length record for a little while, but we've got a lot of things lined up that we want to record, so I think that will happen pretty soon.

I'm never really going to say it's the last Brand New anything ever. I think we're just moving along with this and when we want to do something, we do it and when we don't, we don't. So if five years went by and we haven't done anything, I don't think that would mean we're not going to record a record again.

(i am happy to be wrong.)

how to break an addiction.

2009-09-11T21:12:00.000-07:00

step 1: choose to do what is best for you and your life. the first step is always admitting that you must change in order to lead a healthier, happier life. it is a hard choice to make, but it is the most important first step.

step 2: make it personal. every journey is different, and when trying to break any addiction, it must be a series of personal choices to make to go from addicted to recovered. make your recovery personal by keeping a journal of your ups and downs or keeping a calendar of your steps to show your progress.

step 3: enlist the help of a professional. especially when dealing with physical addictions, in order to break the cycle you must get help to find the root of your problem. counselors and mental health professionals have the right tools to help you find what your reasons are for turning to any addiction.

step 4: talk to your family and friends. once addiction strikes, the person addicted tends to shut their loved ones out of their lives. break any addiction by reconnecting with those you love to find the strength to kick the habit.

step 5: remove yourself from temptation. if you are an alcoholic or shopaholic, you must give yourself time to recover by redirecting your free time to places that can't tempt you to relapse. steer clear of bars, shopping malls or other addicting hang outs to break any specific addiction.

step 6: change your routine. habitual addictions are those that take up your free time, and they are the ones that allow you to redirect your thoughts from the things that upset you. choose to take a walk, exercise or hang out with loving friends to help you break any addiction.

step 7: give yourself a pep talk when you feel the need to relapse. recovery is never easy no matter what you are addicted to, and there are times when you feel the need to return to an old crutch. talk yourself down by reinforcing the positive steps you have taken and list the advantages of not returning to the addictive substance or activity.

"fitter happier" by radiohead

what steps must one take to better themselves? what steps must one take to worsen themselves? why is one step forward so often two steps back?

can someone be addicted to something good? does it then become bad? must one break their connection with this good (bad) to become better?

A: nobody said it was easy.
B: no one ever said it would be this hard.
A: nobody said it was easy.
B: no one ever said it would be so hard

I'm going back to the start.

inglourious basterds

2009-08-31T21:44:00.000-07:00

Mexican Standoff by Elbow

i chose the song because of its name. it makes sense. and its by elbow. who are frankly quite great. check them out!

the movie was really good too.

the elegant universe

2009-08-28T09:45:00.001-07:00

is blowing my mind.

i was a cage.

2009-08-27T21:24:00.000-07:00

It must have been a month since you last loved me
And I haven't slept a wink I hope you care
And I went to hell and back for half and hour
And started a staring contest with your man

And I was a cage
A cage to you

And it has to been a year since I was sober
And I made a point to pinch my skin again
Its any minute now that I will wake you
Watching a woman sleep can get you scared

But I am a cage
Surrounding you

But I am afraid
Of the truth
Inside of you

I could use a friend to say they love me
But im gonna make a sound you cant forget
And afterwards I swore that I would haunt you
Now im way to tired to give a shit

Cause I was a wave
Collapsing you

Yeah I was a wave
Collapsing you

I am away
coming up to you

Well I was away

-right away, great captain

this man has a gift.

what is my joy?

2009-08-23T22:29:00.000-07:00

you would think it would be the thing i spend most of my time doing. and in a way, it is. i love being with my friends, and while i haven't been as good about being with them, i do try to hang with all of them as much as i can. but this is still just fueling an empty feeling inside, like a point being missed. as much as being with my friends makes me happy it is at times not satisfying. i find myself drifting away, longing to be alone. is this because i hate my friends? no. do i love my friends? maybe. im not sure actually. what is love? is it listening to them when they have troubles? being there to play video games? talking into the late hours of the night? or is it a deeper thing? it is. where is it in me? where is the deeper feeling?

i am trying to find it.

is it God?

i am trying to find Him.

at the bottom.

2009-08-15T22:31:00.000-07:00

Wait, watched you throw out your bouquet
Now I think about you everyday
I'm alone now in my bed

And there's a lake
And at the bottom you'll find all our friends
They don't swim cause they're all dead
We never are what we intend or invent

Cause I make little lies and then I pull them apart
Think something dark's living down in my heart
And if I wanted to die before I got old
I should've started some years ago digging that hole

Well I carry this box to the proper place
And when I lower it down
I let it you fade away
I hope that you would do this for me
I'd serve you drugs on a silver plate
If I thought it would help you get away
I hope that you would do this for me

A deer that a hunter shot in the heart
Some dogs that got hit by cars
All came to spill their guts
And we spoke
About the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost
And which songs we had loved the most
And then we all turned to dirt
And dust

Some men die under the mountain just looking for gold
Some die looking for a hand to hold

Well I carry this box to its proper place
And when I lower it down
I let you fade away
I know that you would do this for me
I'd serve you drugs on a silver plate
If I thought it would help you get away
I hope that you would do this for me

I'm slowly bringing you down from the heavenly gates
Now I'm drowning in the flood I made
Well explain myself to me on the other side
I'll watch from Heaven when I die

Well I carry this box to the proper place
And when I lower it down
I let you fade away
I know that you would do this for me
I'd serve you drugs on a silver plate
If I thought it would help you get away
I hope that you would do this for me

-Brand New

Today.

2009-08-04T18:31:00.000-07:00

was a tuesday.

but that has nothing to do with anything else i am going to write (hopefully). more about the summer in general actually. but as i write here i keep feeling like this is somewhat wrong. am i a narcissist for having a blog? for having a twitter? facebook? does this all amount to looking at myself in the mirror, focusing only on myself? or is it something bigger, something that actually matters? because this isn't a journal or anything, i already have one of those (not public, eh?). but this also isn't a place where i write about how great i am or anything. maybe it is disguised. like the post below this one, the one about coldplay. i didn't have to blog about coldplay, but i still did, because i felt that it was relevant or something... was it? or was a boasting about going to a coldplay concert? it sure looks that way. and this post is no exception, the amount of times i have typed the word "i" shows that this blog is about me, or at least this post. but i do blog about music and movies too. but why do i do that? i write reviews, clever thoughts, pass on songs that i am listening to. do i do this to show how good my taste in these things is? to be honest, i think the answer can be yes sometimes. like when i rate radiohead albums from my favorite to least favorite. is that relevant to you, dear reader? of course not. it is an opinion. but other times i post songs, like "Silence" by Jars of Clay, where the reason i post it is because i feel that you, dear reader, should take heart by what it says, or i want you to think about it. my blog is titled "grey matter". not because i thought it was an amazing name or anything, but because i wanted this blog to be stimulating to the brain, not only for you, dear reader, but also for me. yes, it's true, i do blog for myself too, kind of like a journal of sorts. but that's beside the point. i guess where i am trying to get is to understand the purpose of this blog. it has not always been something that has been stimulating to the brain, but does that mean i have failed the blog somehow. no, it doesn't mean that. this isn't about passing or failing a class or anything. let's face it, there are things in life that don't really encourage intelligent thought. but there are a lot of things that do. does this? maybe.

i guess i started writing this because lately i have noticed a lot of things i do and say in life revolve around me. and that isn't good.

heaven

2009-08-01T16:49:00.001-07:00

by Jars of Clay.

hume lake was amazing.

well, that's done now.

2009-07-16T10:26:00.000-07:00

i am now finished posting that series of articles that i stumbled upon. i really enjoyed reading them, not only because i am a fan of the band, but because it is a very interesting and informative look at a band's life in the ever changing musical landscape that is around today. i did not write any of those articles, all of the credit goes to the writers at the bottom of each posting.

now, on to the future! which tonight, is coldplay.

how exciting! for the last 2 days i have been listening nonstop (almost) to their discography, starting with 'Parachutes' and hopefully today i will end with 'Viva La Vida' (probably won't happen). my thoughts about coldplay have changed so much in the last year, from disgust to mild admiration. while maybe their music isn't something that is breaking new ground anywhere or anything like that, they are a highly successful band that has captured the hearts of fans all over the world. and tonight i get to see them perform their music on stage. i can't say that im not excited. (i am very excited.)

The Radiohead Model pt. 6

2009-07-16T10:22:00.001-07:00

The Radiohead Model, Chapter 6: How Come I End Up Where I Started?

By 2007, the Internet had become the music industry. Once dominant record conglomerates like EMI slunk grudgingly away from their thrones as a veritable peasant’s revolt of download services, illegal torrent sites, music bloggers, and savvier independent labels stood defiantly (well, passive aggressively) at the castle gate, demanding entrance and recognition. As other forms of art and media struggled against the aegis of information, music itself seemed to lose monetary value completely. No longer guaranteed pay for goods delivered, both record companies and artists were suddenly at the mercy of their art, their fates beholden to the whims of a fickle online community. Then, in the fall of that year, a famous English band no one had heard from in four years casually posted a short message on the same official site they had been running for 10 years. The music industry blacked out.

On October 1, 2007, what might have been any normal Monday in Oxfordshire, Jonny Greenwood casually took to the band blog Dead Air Space to announce that Radiohead had recorded a new album called In Rainbows, which would be available for download ten days later for a price to be named by the customer. It was a move that surprised everyone, but in truth, it was a long time coming. Many bands had already independently acquiesced to the idea of the Internet as an ally and not an enemy. Some had even begun intentionally leaking their albums to create buzz in advance of sales. But major record labels, willfully dubious to the obvious sea change, could only wring their hands in despair as sales plummeted and their system failed around them. It was only fitting that one of the most respected and best-selling bands in the world began the funeral dirge in HTML.

But Radiohead had almost played their own eulogy in Hail to the Thief, their last contracted LP with EMI. After touring completed for that album, the band entered its longest dormant period since the lead-up to Kid A. Suddenly the most sought-after free agent in the music business, the band seemed more content to settle into their family lives, making occasional independent appearances here and there. Jonny Greenwood took up residency with the BBC Concert Orchestra and dabbled in classical and film composition. Thom Yorke released his first not-solo record, The Eraser, in 2006, continuing his penchant for stripped-down, laptop-based electronic music. The album received acclaim, but Yorke didn’t tour, and many wondered the same question: where was the band?

In truth, Radiohead had never really stopped working on songs as Radiohead. They just couldn’t bring themselves to master and release any of them. They were in limbo, without obligation or time frame. Attaining a level of self-determination that many might covet, the band languished. In 2006, after initial recording sessions with another producer failed, the band scrapped production and took their new songs to the road. Radiohead had always been acutely aware of their cult fanbase, and road-testing new music seemed a logical way forward.

After touring, the band returned to the studio with Nigel Godrich, whose guiding hand had been sorely missed. It was Nigel who gave the band the structure, focus, and renewed vigor they needed to begin the rehearsing and recording process for In Rainbows. But with strict parameters came a loosening and a long lost freedom. The band recorded live takes in crumbling old mansions again, but there was less stress this time. Despite their immediate beauty, the songs of In Rainbows betray more than anything the sense of a band playing freely for the first time in years. Listening to “Bodysnatchers,” a live take, the raucous joy in the singing and playing is palpable. Yorke’s help of “hey” as a kick-in to the bridge is a clear sign of a band playing loudly in a room. “We felt like we were 16 again,” Yorke said of the sessions.

Over the course of a year, the band recorded new material. There would still be the problem, however, of releasing it. It was clear by body language that Radiohead wanted nothing to do with the conglomerate dinosaurs, and the band continually resisted renewal offers from EMI, instead reviewing independent labels. During their 2006 tour, in an interview on Chicago Public Radio’s Sound Opinions, Jim DeRagotis and Greg Kot seemed to plead with the band to be the first to buck the establishment and just release new material themselves. It was nice, hypothetical conversation, but at some point in the latter half of 2007, brainstorming commenced, meetings were taken, and the decision was handed down through the band’s tight-knit managerial machine: self-release, give the fans what they want for however much they think it’s worth, and find physical distribution later. Play the Internet at its own game.

On October 10, 2007, Radiohead became the first band in history to release an album exclusively to the Internet by means of an official leak. With no contractual stops or intermediaries, the band made a mint. They would later find physical distribution through TBD Records in the US and XL Recordings in the UK, though to this day they remain unsigned. In 2008, In Rainbows appeared again, this time emblazoned with a bright and colorful photographic scheme by Stanley Donwood, a stark departure from his previous oil-based works. “Radiohead, In Rainbows” the cover repeats over and over again, as if even Donwood and the band can’t believe that the album actually happened.

The band promoted the album with webcasts, as they had with Kid A seven years earlier. Their tour and travel itinerary were even green conscious. All of this was accomplished by the band, their long-time managers, and their friends. As usual, critics lavished praise on the album, but Radiohead seemed to have triumphed in more way than one. To be sure, the music itself is much more open, immediate, and outright gorgeous than anything the band has done. Yorke’s voice soars again, and the band relaxes easily into texture and nuance behind it. But always present in the music seems to be the business model itself, decrying greed and celebrating the sheer force of music. On October 10, Radiohead gave the world a day to experience that sheer force together. “No matter what happens now,” Thom Yorke sings on “Videotape,” “I won’t be afraid because I know today has been the most perfect day I’ve ever seen.”

And so Radiohead continues on. Many wonder whether they will continue the model they pioneered with In Rainbows, but whenever the band decides to release music, the world will listen in whatever format it takes. The name Radiohead itself has become a brand, a fact of which the band is very aware and have used to very great artistic and commercial effect.

Over the years, the men of Radiohead had proved smarter than just about anybody else in cultivating image and preserving integrity as a band. Certainly, the warmer hues of In Rainbows have melted some of the more icy facsimiles of the band, but they remain as private as ever, tucked away in the tidy streets of Oxford, mucking about with instruments and new sounds much like they did on Friday afternoons when they first met almost 25 years ago. “You are my center when I spin away,” Yorke sings on In Rainbows, and he might as well be singing to the music itself—the thing which, beside business models, sustains the name Radiohead, and sets the world following after it.

-(Erik Martz/Ian Anderson) via mfr.com

The Radiohead Model pt. 5

2009-07-16T10:18:00.000-07:00

The Radiohead Model, Chapter 5: The Gloaming

The word “gloaming” has its roots in the Old English word “gloming,” both which refer to the time in the evening when the sun has just passed over the horizon, creating the soft glow of twilight just after the time which photographers know as the magic hour. Its roots lie in the Dark Ages, when much of the Western world lay balanced between light and darkness, enlightenment and utter stagnation. The Gloaming became known as the time when strange and otherworldly things would begin to occur on the earth before the black of night. It was a superstitious word for superstitious people, but it would survive into the modern era and eventually become the subtitle for Radiohead’s sixth album, principally known as “Hail to the Thief.”

By 2003, Radiohead had seen the blaze of day in the glorious sunshine of their youth. In the space of ten years, they had ascended to a height known by few in the world of popular music, following a golden career arc from assimilating naiveté to elite sophistication (think The Beatles and the 1960s). In the early days of the 21st Century, the double punch of “OK Computer” and Kid A/Amnesiac was already viewed as a watershed moment. But the making of these albums had driven the band almost to the point of implosion. In their drive to create meaningful music, they had become more collaborative architects than a band. Never again, they vowed. Radiohead were done, at least in practice, with being difficult.

And so in 2002, the band picked up their guitars again and began rehearsing the songs which they would eventually record in a Los Angeles studio in under two weeks. In form, “Hail to the Thief” was a looser amalgamation of many of the ideas the band had worked on throughout their entire history, with the ripping and clanging guitars that began their career rejoining the band’s more recent penchant for electronica. The album featured the band’s first extensive use of laptop on many songs, and drummer Phil Selway seemed to be a full-time member again. Producer Nigel Godrich had effectively become yet another member of the band, giving the new collection of songs a clean and polished edge. Resident artist Stanley Donwood produced yet another of his gallery-caliber oil-on-canvases for the elaborate jewel case packaging. Rehearsed, recorded, mastered, and packaged in a year, it was the easiest time Radiohead had making an album since “Pablo Honey.”

First leaked to the Internet, the album was released in June of 2003 to generous album sales and critical acclaim, although there was the sense among many that the band was not due its usual round of lavish praise. By the release of “Hail to the Thief,” Radiohead albums had become epochal events in music. “OK Computer” and “Kid A” had taught listeners that this was a band whose every release would be uncompromising, essential, another strong push against the envelope in terms of sonic fidelity and imagination. Shockingly, “Hail to the Thief” seemed to tread those albums’ water. Everything sounded fine, some of it even gorgeous, but that was precisely the problem. It wasn’t a total masterpiece. To many, it was “Kid A” on autopilot. To many more, including the band itself, “Hail to the Thief” wasn’t up to standard.

Of course, that standard was very high, perhaps impossibly high. But everything about the album seemed to have the ring of self-knowing pastiche. Every song title was given a parenthetical subtitle, as if to give added bloat to a 14-track album from a band recently known for leaner LPs. Song titles like “We Suck Young Blood” and “A Punch Up at a Wedding” seem campy and satirical, as if the band is making fun of itself. The album is cynical and dark, even by Radiohead standards, and though Thom Yorke’s vibrato is allowed space again, it sometimes sounds tired and flat against the music.

It was rumored that Radiohead had rushed the album, their sixth and final with EMI, to get out of a record contract with which they were no longer happy. A more likely explanation is marriage, kids, and life itself. The men of Radiohead were in their mid 30s. They had given everything of themselves to the band and to each other for almost two decades. Perhaps, even as the world Thom Yorke so manically predicted began to form around them, it was time for Radiohead to settle into it. After touring behind Hail to the Thief, the band adjourned for a much needed hiatus. As the giant slept, Hail to the Thief would gain the reputation as one if its lesser efforts. With no record contract and few musical prospects, Radiohead was finally in limbo.

Thom Yorke had said that “Hail to the Thief” was an album about entering a modern dark age under a flag of ignorance. But there was still the album’s mysterious subtitle, The Gloaming, which also relates to the Old English word ‘glowan’, referring to the actual glow of dusk itself, revealing new colors and deeper hues in the earth and sky. Almost like the sudden appearance of rainbows.

-(Erik Martz/Ian Anderson) via mfr.com

The Radiohead Model pt. 4

2009-07-10T21:21:00.000-07:00

The Radiohead Model Chapter 4: Everything in Its Right Place

A well-known trope in the history of popular music is that no one artist has been able to fully duplicate the exponentially adventurous and innovative catalog arc which The Beatles produced in the 1960s. Certainly, the example lingers like a ghost in the closet of every British band which has come after, and following the ridiculous critical and commercial success of OK Computer, the specter of Sgt. Pepper loomed near Radiohead’s own arc. But The Beatles were successful because they had George Martin, Abbey Road, and the brass balls to make the White Album. Radiohead had Nigel Godrich, Oxford, and the audacity to make Kid A.

After the hullabaloo of trying to tour behind OK Computer, Radiohead disappeared for a while. The band was exhausted, and Thom Yorke, disillusioned and depressed, began suffering from writer’s block. The good news was that after OK Computer, EMI would never touch the band again, which suited the band just fine. Fed up with obligations, dogged tours, and the publicity machine in general, Radiohead did what few ascending rock bands have been able to do successfully: they stepped back, rebooted, and shifted direction.

After the initial recording sessions proved fruitless, the band hunkered down in their newly-built studio in Oxford, put down their guitars, and picked up just about everything else. Recorded at the end of the ’90s and released in October of 2000, Kid A, much like the White Album, was a convergence of vision, a cut-and-paste molding of the musical ideas of our time. Often cited as an entry point for novices into the underground of electronic music, it is also a conduit for jazz elements, electronic sampling, and orchestral arrangement. Jonny Greenwood’s beloved Ondes Martenot makes its first appearance. Drummer Phil Selway is conspicuously absent for most of the album. And the tenor, the vibrato, the timbre of Thom Yorke’s voice is seemingly dead, its bifurcated ashes scattered across layers of electronic programming.

With its simultaneously intimate and expansive sound, Kid A is an isolating record that sounds like the environment in which it was created: Kid A is Oxford.

It’s well-thought-out ideas and brainy application. In Oxford, the place where the former members of On A Friday still rehearse and record much of their music in the same way they always have, Radiohead could isolate themselves and shut out every influence but those they needed to create Kid A. Kid A needed to be created in vacuum. You can hear it on opening track “Everything in its Right Place”– a shock to the ears after everything that has come before – in the way Nigel Godrich pushes the keyboard riff and Yorke’s distorted vocals to the front, pressing against your ears. Everything is in its wrong place, but somehow right.

Radiohead recorded 30 songs in this manner, but decided against a double album, taking a left turn even from The Beatles and stripping away egotistical excess. Kid A was released to the world as a lean, 10-song f-k off, and became the weirdest record to ever reach number one on the Billboard charts. With EMI’s blessing, Radiohead became the first band to use the Internet, then still a primordial thing, as a full-on marketing tool. Though it leaked to Napster, Radiohead made their own presence felt with downloaders, releasing promotional videos using the new iBlip widget for album preorders and advanced streaming audio, an unheard of tool in the ignorant and newly litigious music industry.

Radiohead did very little else to promote the album. Their tour schedule was now shorter and more manageable. They could choose when and to what to degree to talk to the press. They appeared on Saturday Night Live in the U.S. in a deliberately terrifying but enthralling performance that sold even more records. Critics were divided but largely ecstatic about the album and the sea change it harbored. Radiohead wasn’t just a very good rock band. They were experimental epoch makers who were successful. “We were The Beatles for a week,” said Thom Yorke.

In a year, the band would release Amnesiac, a collection of leftover songs from the Kid A sessions. Hardly tossed off, the album was an affirmation of experimental intention and, unlike Kid A, produced singles. Some would come to regard it as remnants off an eaten plate, but most would acknowledge it as a victory lap for a band that had disappeared completely, reappeared as something much less accessible, and somehow had more success than before.

Radiohead had become the amnesiac, forgetting its past and ricocheting headlong into the 21st century. Turning inward, it had grown outward and become the leader of the popular music world. But the crown weighs heavy, especially for those would rather not be the Bony King of Nowhere.

-(Erik Martz/Ian Anderson) via mfr.com

The Radiohead Model pt. 3

2009-06-25T22:10:00.000-07:00

The Radiohead Model, Chapter 3: An Interstellar Burst

1996 was the year of Alanis Morisette and “Jagged Little Pill.” It was the year that saw of Jane Seymour at her prime in “Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman.” It was the summer of alien paranoia and the apex of Oasis. But on the underside of this, something even stranger was happening. People were likely surprised by the weird, malformed sounds coming from Alanis' opening act on tour. Jane Seymour likely didn't know the gents who rented her dusky English mansion while she was off bandaging Indians, nor the unsettling tunes they continued to shape in its draughty rooms late at night. Oasis lived and died in two years, taking the cumbersomeness of Britpop with them and leaving room for something different.

Looking back almost 12 years on, it's easier to trace the thread that led to OK Computer, Radiohead's third LP and complete masterpiece. They held with the crowd for a while, working and learning their way through the standard sound of the day. They had played with each other, gigging and recording, for 11 years. Thom Yorke had conditioned a voice unlike anything known in modern rock music. Jonny Greenwood, already an accomplished guitarist, was beginning to feel his oats as avant-garde composer and instrumentalist. And brother Colin, Ed O'Brien, and Phil Selway were becoming much more than a rhythm section. It should have been obvious when the Pixies and classical composer Krzystof Penderecki were mentioned in the same breath. Radiohead had played their tuneup and were ready for the symphony.

Thus, the angular guitar/cello thrusts opening track “Airbag” and OK Computer into thrilling life, even Colin's bass starts in and stumbles like he too is surprised by what he's hearing. This is a theme of OK Computer. Real musicians playing together. Sorting out structure from the chaos. Bottlenecking countless ideas into one cohesive mood. Every song is played in a different room, with producer Nigel Godrich, one of the album's prime movers, expanding the space in each one. There are legends about this album, most of them associated with Jane Seymour's mansion. Legends of “Let Down” being recorded in a ballroom at 3:00 a.m., of “Exit Music (For a Film)” being recorded in a stone stairwell. “Paranoid Android” is a live take with a pissed off Thom Yorke improvising lyrics. The words are scary, claustrophobic, the music soaring and terrifying. There is tension in “Climbing Up the Walls” and uneasy release in “No Surprises.” Don't look away, the album seems to say. Don't leave me here.

Much of this atmosphere can be attributed, as always, to the intricate mind of Thom Yorke, the self-described “idiot savant.” The album's fragmented lyrics have the distinction of being both terrifying to read, as well as to hear. Yorke, who has a better voice than Bono, wails and soars more than ever, but also sounds wounded and unguarded. Multi-tracked extensively, his vocals struggle against the wall of sound rising around them, Godrich balancing them precariously against the mix.

The musically progressive heart of OK Computer, however, resides squarely in the chest of Jonny Greenwood. He wrote “The Tourist” in 9/8 and 12/8. His eerie electronics and synth sounds give the album its atmosphere and backdrop. And he fulfills the Penderecki name check in “Climbing Up the Walls,” where his dissonant string arrangements meet distorted guitar and Yorke's wrenching, animal-like scream in one of the most terrifying and exhilarating climaxes in the history of popular music.

The continually and surprisingly generous EMI also gave Radiohead no deadline for the album, freeing them up creatively and financially. With no alarms and no surprises, OK Computer was released in 1997 to reviews everywhere from mixed to ecstatically complimentary. What was clear was that Radiohead had created some kind of monstrous classic. The album went to number one in the UK and number 21 in the US, and the band won the Grammy for best alternative rock album. Years later, in light of further accomplishments, Spin Magazine would call OK Computer the greatest album of the 1990s. 1996 was the year of everyone else, but 1997 was the year of Radiohead.

But after yet another grueling tour (see the documentary Meeting People is Easy), the men of Radiohead were spent. The world took OK Computer into its hands and lovingly beat the band over the head with it. Everyone wanted to know how it was possible, and what could possibly come next. But Thom York was sinking into depression, and everyone was tired. Radiohead had to sleep for a while. With OK Computer, Radiohead had changed the musical landscape. Three years later, they would do it again.

-(Erik Martz/Ian Anderson) via mfr.com

what is more important?

2009-06-22T12:18:00.001-07:00

so today, while i was waiting in the dentist's office (how fun!) i decided to catch up on my magazine reading, because i don't read magazines. quickly scanning the stack, i grabbed a national geographic. the title seemed interesting ("Christians Leaving the Holy Land") so i jumped in. i really do like national geographic. they understand that most people just look at the pictures and not read a single thing, because most of their pages are filled with full sized pictures of cool stuff, like nature and the such. so im skimming along, reading about food or something like that, and i come across a picture that i have seen many times before. it was a picture of a farmer burning down part of the rain forest. now, most of the time when i see these pictures i want to root for the rain forest. i mean, its really cool, has tons of cool animals, and they say that it is the source of most of the oxygen that we breathe, so, go rain forest, right? but this time i stopped (in the limited time i had before they called me in for my biannual teeth scraping) and thought. here is someone trying to survive, trying to make enough money to live, burning down a part of a forest. and i was rooting for the forest? what is more important: a man being able to get enough food to survive or an acre of forest? i have never really thought about this question before, but most of america has been very clear about their answer: the forest. we have groups that lobby for the forest, people that chain themselves to the trees to save them, anger and disgust for the people that burn/cut them down. and all the while those people are looking at us, the correctly named "great satan" of the earth, probably with confusion and sadness. they see people who have everything they could ever want: comfort, money, food on the table that no one even eats. they see out anger towards them trying to make a living and survive. do we even understand what their lives are even like?

im not saying that i hate trees or anything like that. i think trees are rather cool. but i would say that a human being's life is infinitely more important than all of the trees on the entire planet. so, with this in mind, i have decided to never again make a decision based on whatever propaganda i read/see/hear, because that is extremely dangerous and ignorant. aren't a lot of time and money going into making people's lives miserable from the people whose lives aren't miserable? where is the love in that? caring for the earth means caring for the EARTH! and guess what, people live here. we are part of the earth. why don't you care for us?

this is probably getting old.

2009-06-16T18:27:00.000-07:00

why this year is better than last year.

new albums yet to come from:

brand new*

mute math* (it's good!)

muse

thrice (i hear it is good.)

switchfoot*

maylene and the sons of disaster (more of the same. meh)

he is legend (it's good!)

im excited.

*im really excited

also good that the summer television schedule has begun.

new psych!

The Radiohead Model pt. 2

2009-06-10T17:21:00.000-07:00

The Radiohead Model, Chapter 2: If I Could Be Who You Wanted

In the mid '90s, a handful of British bands were plugging in their guitars and recording music that would eventually come to be known as Britpop. The sound was heavily ratcheted and distorted, and it seemed that coke and nostalgia were the main driving forces of the scene. The world was becoming aware of a second British invasion, but this seemed to be the darker, more cynical sequel—Luke battling Vader for the first time. Somebody had to make The Empire Strikes Back.

EMI released The Bends, the second of Radiohead's '90s album trilogy, in 1995. Pablo Honey had disappeared, but the My Iron Lung EP perked some ears. The title track, which would also appear on The Bends, swirled, raged, and yes, even bended more than anything the band had done. By the time recording sessions for The Bends came around, the band was on the verge of collapse and sick of songs they had been touring for three years, none of which they would ever play again (except “Creep”). With ideas and ambition flowing, the band convened with producer Andrew Leckie and engineer Nigel Godrich (more on him later) to record their second album.

The music of The Bends was unmistakably that of a rock band. Guitars thundered, descended, and soared on tracks like “The Bends,” “Black Star,” and “Just.” Jonny Greenwood was clearly now the lead guitarist, and Ed O'Brien first made himself known on “Street Spirit (Fade Out).” The Bends also marked the first forceful use of keyboard in the band, which many consider the gateway drug that encouraged Radiohead to move on to the harder stuff like synthesizers and the elicit use of programming (OK Computer, cough, Kid A).

Then there was that voice. Thom Yorke recorded the vocals to “Fake Plastic Trees” immediately after seeing Jeff Buckley in concert. Oscillating between wail and soul, Yorke's true tenor voice came to the fore. Experimental sounds sneaked in between the muscular guitars, time signatures went slightly awry, and an unsettling subtext began to emerge underneath the songs. The bends, after all, is a very dangerous condition.

This was also the true beginning of the Radiohead chrysalis i.e. Radiohead, Nigel Godrich, and visual artist Stanley Donwood, a university mate who became the band's artist-in-residence beginning with the rather challenging album images for The Bends. Godrich turned the knobs for only a few songs on the album, but his time would come. This album was well-received enough, mostly within the industry and by critics, if still a grower in the states (it peaked at number 88 on the Billboard charts). The band set out on another grueling world tour, which included a stint in 1995 as the opening act for R.E.M.

In the end, some people tried to pin Radiohead and their second record to the Britpop renaissance. It didn't matter. They were about to change the game again anyway.

-(Erik Martz/Ian Anderson) via mfr.com

It's All Crazy! It's All False! It's All A Dream! It's Alright (also One of the Most Brutally Honest Records of All Time!)

2009-06-08T10:20:00.000-07:00

They have come such a long way from the yelling. They being mewithoutYou of course, and this, their new album. My first encounter with mewithoutYou came with the album Brother, Sister, which i bought on a whim after the suggestion of a friend. i was hooked almost immediately, not by the introspective lyrics, which i had yet to really listen to, but the sound that the band made. I found it different and unique, something that i had been longing for, for my supply of radiohead and others had run dry. The guitar riffs were driving, the drumming was free flowing (with that supporting bass), and Aaron Weiss' shouted poetry was very different from what i had listened to before. Sadly, i have still not been able to get into what he is yelling exactly. I think that Brother, Sister and i still need to hang out a lot more, because it was the cd that came out before Brother, Sister that had stolen my heart with the lyrical genius.

Catch for Us the Foxes was given to me by this same friend, that one who had suggested them to me in the first place. And it was this album that i actually started listening to, instead of letting it enter one ear and exit the other, like so many songs before (i have been informed that Jigsaw Falling into Place by Radiohead is another song i am guilty of letting do this; i need to start listening to lyrics more). Catch for Us the Foxes is full of lyrical genius, from Aaron Weiss' brutal honesty to well, his brutal honesty. It was now that i read about his true purpose in making music, well, the entire band's true purpose i guess. They started as a band seeking fame, girls, and money, like pretty much every band. But between the albums [A→B] Life and Catch for Us the Foxes they had a re-imagining, and had now decided to do everything that they do for Jesus, which is the most admirable thing that they could have possibly done. The album plays like a conversation between the band and Jesus, with Aaron confessing to the sins he has committed, expressing his doubts about faith, and his overall relationship with God. This album became more than just a simple listen, and became a look into another man's faith. and in doing so it captured my heart as one of the best albums i had ever heard.

And now they have released their new album, It's All Crazy! It's All False! It's All A Dream! It's Alright. Oh, really quick, if this has been confusing at all, the order of mewithoutYou's album releases go: [A→B] Life, Catch for Us the Foxes, Brother, Sister, and now It's All Crazy! It's All False! It's All A Dream! It's Alright. There you go. I got this album yesterday, and have been doing the best i can to listen to it as much as i can. Like i mentioned earlier, this album is noticeably almost completely devoid of Aaron Weiss' brilliant and intriguing yelling. It is as if he is just meditating on what he is saying, and the songs reflect this playful attitude for the most part. Many of the songs are set up as stories, with animals as the main characters. Examples of the animal's doings include:

"The fox approached the tree
Where the bird was perched, delighted in his nest.
Brother Crow, don't you remember me?"
-from The Fox, the Crow, and the Cookie

and

"the sun rose and the hour grew late
the day held by the coconut's state
raked up the dry leaves that fell dead from the trees
which they burned in a pile by the lake

the beetle king summoned his men
from the top of a rudimentary stone
'calling all volunteers, someone carry back here
the great mysteries of lake once again.'"
-from The King Beetle on a Coconut Estate

this is just a hint of how the lyrics actually are when they are in this story-telling mode. The animals discuss God, life, pride, and other very human things. Their use of anthropomorphism in these songs allows the listener to listen with both a subtle delight (its like story time all over again!) as well as a serious reflection, for these animals are dealing with some of the same things us people are (crazy!)!

But it is not this that makes the album rank up higher than most of the other albums i have heard. it is Aaron Weiss' continuing to use some of the most brutally honest lyrics known to mankind, and almost forces me to label this album as the christian version of Neutral Milk Hotel's In the Aeroplane Over the Sea. Im not saying that it is, im just quietly noting the similarities between what both the lyricists are singing about. Jeff Mangum, the singer for Neutral Milk Hotel, is known for his very explicit lyrics about sex which he somehow can attribute to mountains and other things like that. I am not comparing their explicitness, lest you think i am, but rather i am comparing their honesty. What other bands are as shameless and honest enough to write such things? Well, Aaron Weiss of mewithoutYou is. But where the explicitness of Jeff Mangum's lyrics tend to be off putting and a tad distracting (which could be his intention, who knows?) Aaron Weiss' honesty is a sad look at how things really are. He doesn't sugar coat what he sings about, from faith:

"when we swear, my love is real,
we mean, i like the way you make me feel"
-from Every Thought a Thought of You

to Aaron Weiss' commentary on lust:

"we pretend to care and like we understand,
our eyes go soft but know it now -
what we're thinking about is your mammary glands
and how to sail your birth canal"
-from Fig with a Bellyache

mixed in with some tales of touring:

"headed east out of st. paul,
we stopped for water.
rested in the cemetery,
watched the mississippi.
running out of food stamps,
found a bag along the footpath
off highway 61 filled with
what looked like marijuana.
(don't worry mom, we left it there)"
-from Cattail Down

It is this brutal honesty that i admire most of all. We live in a world that sugar coats everything except the evening news, from the glamorization of sex to the glorification of violence to the utter lack of any conscious thought about death (you are going to die someday, you know that right? no one lives forever.). This honesty is a breath of fresh air (which is one of the most cliche statements i will ever make and everyone is guilty of "breath of fresh air"?!) because it comes from a band that is in love with God and is just seeking to understand existence, like the rest of us. Aaron Weiss can just put it in better words i guess.

(It's All Crazy! It's All False! It's All A Dream! It's Alright by mewithoutYou was released on May 19th by Tooth and Nail Records. But it here! or here!)

The Radiohead Model pt. 1

2009-06-02T23:20:00.000-07:00

(grey matter: i found these online during my usual blog readings, and i found them a very interesting look into what i consider to be one of the the best bands of all time (a title i don't take lightly, and neither should you). enjoy the read my readers. ill post the newer ones when i feel like it.)

The Radiohead Model, Chapter 1: Anyone Can Play Guitar

In 1985, a group of 15 and 16-year-old boys began rehearsing songs in the music room on Fridays at Abingdon School in Abingdon, Oxfordshire, England. They called themselves On A Friday. Soon, On a Friday began appearing in pubs and bars around Oxfordshire and attracting attention. The boys kept rehearsing through college and reconvened in the early '90s, upon completing their degrees, to record the music they had begun to shape before securing their educations. By that time, Johnny Greenwood had moved up from keyboard player to lead guitarist, and brother Colin casually handed a demo to an EMI executive at the record shop where he worked. It was the 90s, so the band inked a six-album deal, but EMI wanted a name change. The boys remembered a favorite Talking Heads song (track six from “True Stories”) and in 1992, Radiohead released the Drill EP.

It was too easy, of course. Drill failed, and the subsequent Pablo Honey LP would only have success after a relentless touring schedule, which almost tore the band apart. Still, Britain reacted tepidly; NME said Radiohead were "a lily-livered excuse for a rock band” (I know, right?) and America only seemed to care about “Creep.” Radiohead played Pablo dry, saw little return but for a song that they came to hate, and were glad to be rid of the mess when they began sessions for the My Iron Lung EP in 1994. The Bends would be soon to follow. Pablo Honey, meanwhile, remained a commercially and artistically difficult beginning.

Yet no matter the amount of derision aimed at Pablo Honey in hindsight, it's very importance lies in that it was only a beginning. Fortune, hard work, and some might say destiny gave Radiohead the chance to record their first album, but inexperience and a fickle market gave them a hit song and a more modest first record. Radiohead matured on record, not before it. They began to wrap their heads around what they were capable of in the studio and that foundation led to desire to experiment within that context in the future (OK Computer, cough).

They were also not burnout-ready rock stars. They were polite English boys with mannered educations who liked to make un-polite sounds with musical instruments. They were art school students who understood the need for art to be advanced, to find further expression and better the self. They formed a tight-knit managerial and artistic collective around Radiohead to achieve their goals, which still exists to this day. It also didn't hurt that they had the long-term financial backing of then still mighty EMI.

So Pablo Honey sucks, right? Maybe. But it did give five boys from Abingdon the chance to be the most essential band of their time.

-(Erik Martz/Ian Anderson) via mfr.com

Fake Empire by The National

2009-06-02T00:10:00.000-07:00

Stay out super late tonight
Picking apples, making pies
Put a little something in our lemonade and take it with us
We're half awake in a fake empire
We're half awake in a fake empire

Tiptoe through our shiny city
With our diamond slippers on
Do our gay ballet on ice
Bluebirds on our shoulders
We're half awake in a fake empire
We're half awake in a fake empire

Turn the light out say goodnight
No thinking for a little while
Let's not try to figure out everything at once
It's hard to keep track of you falling through the sky
We're half awake in a fake empire
We're half awake in a fake empire

i love this band.

for men's chorale.

2009-05-26T00:12:00.000-07:00

may the road rise to meet you.
may the wind be always at your back
may the sun shine warm upon your face
may the rain fall soft upon your fields
and until we meet again, may He hold you in His hand
may God hold you in the palm of his hand.

Be Still.

2009-05-22T23:01:00.001-07:00

Be still, my soul.
The Lord is on your side.
Bear patiently, this cross of grief and pain.
Leave to your God to order and provide;
In every change God faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: your best, your heavenly friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Be still, my soul: your God will undertake
To guide the future, as in ages past.
Your hope, your confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know
The Christ who ruled them while he dwelt below.

Be still, my soul: the hour is hastening on
When we shall be forever with the Lord,
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
Sorrow for forgot, love's purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: when change and tears are past,
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.

Be still.
Be still.
Be still, my soul.

May Day. 2

2009-05-01T14:03:00.000-07:00

also, i have decided to post my current top 10 albums (in no particular order) of all time. you know, because i can. enjoy:

Much Afraid - Jars of Clay
The Devil and God are Raging Inside Me - Brand New
Catch for Us the Foxes - MewithoutYou
Absolution - Muse
Boxer - The National
Kid A - Radiohead
Automatic for the People - R.E.M.
In Rainbows - Radiohead
Greetings from Michigan - Sufjan Stevens
The Seldom Seen Kid - Elbow

May Day.

2009-05-01T11:56:00.000-07:00

i have made a couple of music purchases lately that i am very happy about. well, its a given that you should be happy about the purchases you make, but when one attempts to branch out to something "new" there are often disappointments. and my "branching out" in this case wasn't really much at all, but they are albums that i have never given a ear to, let alone listen to.

Armchair Apocrypha- Andrew Bird

a couple of months ago i made one of those purchases that i dread, for a number of reasons. The album was entitled Noble Beast, and it is by Andrew Bird. after the first couple of listens, something that i try to give to every album i buy, i found that i just could not get into it. The music wasn't catchy enough, the lyrics weren't anything groundbreaking, and lets face it, there is only so much whistling that a man can take. but i am not one to give up, so when i saw that amazon MP3 had this album by andrew bird on sale, i purchased it, intending to give him another chance. which turned out to be a good idea. Armchair Apocrypha, which was released two years before Noble Beast, is a great album. in this album, everything clicks, whether it be the music, which is simply genius, the lyrics, which are catchy enough to stick in your head, or just the overall feel of the album: comfort. this album treats you like a good friend, someone you feel you are comfortable enough with to be perfectly honest. i have listened to this album while doing homework, walking to class, and even sleeping. i am very pleased with this purchase, and would recommend it to anyone.

Pet Sounds - The Beach Boys

This one may seem like a no-brainer. i mean, it's the beach boys! but i have been so polarized against them that it is insane. the beach boys are the band that my grandparents would blast (old person style) every time we went to their house for a get-together. at the time, i was heavily into the christian music scene, thanks to my parents most likely, and was very pleased with my mix of michael w. smith, dc talk, jars of clay, and others (ha ha, were those the good old days?). so, these beach boys were so different from what i was listening to. there was no mention of jesus or God or anything. and they sounded so OLD. i just grit my teeth and bared it, vowing that i would never give old person music my ear (which is unfortunate, for because of this it took me many years to even look back further than 20 years for good music). but today, once again on amazon MP3, i saw that Pet Sounds was for sale, and figured, why not? i have listened to this album twice all the way through already, not doing anything else (the internet is so terrible right now). this is a very, very good album! i mean, i shouldnt be surprised, because they all say this influenced Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, which is said to be one of the greatest albums of all time, let alone in the beatles' catalog (give me revolver over this any day!). i am very happy that i stopped to give my ear to these old people's music, because it is a very good album. i don't really know how to describe it, but i enjoy this album. it is music that is so fun to listen to, like bubblegum in my ears (work with me on this one). the subject matter may not always be that poppy beach boys that is popularized by "surfin' USA" or "California Girls" by this album manages to blow all of that "old people stuff" out of the water. this album deserves the praise that it is given, and while i may not say this is the best album of all time, or anything close, i still agree. this is a great album.

The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford

2009-04-24T17:49:00.000-07:00

this is one of the greatest movies i have ever seen.
it took me four months to watch.

2009-04-22T16:43:00.001-07:00

"The thing is, we watch everything. We watch so much television it's ridiculous," keyboardist Christopher Freeman reports to Billboard.com. "I was completely caught up in 'Gossip Girl' when it came out. So to have our song played in the most epic breakup scene to date was awesome. We were all jumping up and down."

What else ranks on the Manchester Orchestra TV list? "We watch a lot of comedy stuff -- '30 Rock' and 'The Office,' " Freeman says. "We're all huge fans of 'Lost.' 'True Blood's' a great show. I was into 'Battlestar Gallactica' for along time. We all watch 'Gilmore Girls,' too; one entire tour we watched the entire catalog of 'Gilmore Girls' DVDs in, like a few weeks."

i like when bands are honest. and when bands like Lost. win win.

Hymn

2009-04-20T23:12:00.000-07:00

Hymn - Jars of Clay

Oh refuge of my hardened heart
Oh fast pursuing lover come
As angels dance 'round Your throne
My life by captured fare You own

Not silhouette of trodden faith
Nor death shall not my steps be guide
I'll pirouette upon mine grave
For in Your path I'll run and hide

Oh gaze of love so melt my pride
That I may in Your house but kneel
And in my brokenness to cry
Spring worship unto Thee

When beauty breaks the spell of pain
The bludgeoned heart shall burst in vain
But not when love be pointed king
And truth shall Thee forever reign

Sweet Jesus carry me away
From cold of night, and dust of day
In ragged hour or salt worn eye
Be my desire, my wellspring lie

Spring worship unto Thee
Spring worship unto Thee

i really really like this song. for every reason there could possibly be for loving a song, i love this one. this is where i want my heart to be, where i have been striving, longing for it to be. this is my prayer.

Fitter, Happier

2009-04-20T12:49:00.001-07:00

Fitter, happier, more productive, comfortable, not drinking too much
Regular exercise at the gym, 3 days a week
Getting on better with your associate employee contemporaries at ease
Eating well, no more microwave dinners and saturated fats
A patient better driver, a safer car, baby smiling in back seat
Sleeping well, no bad dreams, no paranoia
Careful to all animals, never washing spiders down the plughole
Keep in contact with old friends, enjoy a drink now and then
Will frequently check credit
at moral bank, hole in wall
Favors for favors, fond but not in love
Charity standing orders on sundays ring road supermarket
No killing moths or putting boiling water on the ants
Car wash, also on sundays, no longer afraid of the dark or midday shadows
Nothing so ridiculously teenage and desperate nothing so childish
At a better pace, slower and more calculated, no chance of escape
Now self-employed, concerned, but powerless
An empowered and informed member of society, pragmatism not idealism
Will not cry in public, less chance of illness, tires that grip in the wet
Shot of baby strapped in back seat, a good memory still cries at a good film
Still kisses with saliva, no longer empty and frantic like a cat tied to a stick
Thats driven into frozen winter shit, the ability to laugh at weakness
Calm fitter, healthier and more productive
a pig in a cage on antibiotics

-radiohead

BEGONE MENTAL BACKGROUND NOISE!

Silence

2009-04-13T11:28:00.000-07:00

Take, take till there's nothing, nothing to turn to.
Nothing when You get through.
Won't You break, scatter pieces of all I've been.
Bowing to all I've been running to.
I, I got a question.
I got a question - Where are You?
Did you leave me unbreakable?
Leave me frozen?
I've never felt so cold.
I thought You were silent.
I thought You left me for the wreckage and the waste.
On an empty beach of faith.
Was it true?
Scream, deeper I wanna scream.
I want You to hear me, I want You to find me.
I want to believe but all I pray is wrong
and all I claim is gone.
I, I got a question.
I got a question - Where are You?
Where are You?

Silence by Jars of Clay
"Jars of Clay's comment on the song: "Silence" is where the questions come out. In the eerily quiet expanses of time, we begin to wonder if God is there. God is not afraid of our questions, and we were not afraid to write about the incredible depths doubt can reach in the midst of our present struggles."

usually when someone posts a song on a blog or something it is used to describe how they are feeling or something along those lines. this is not the case for this entry. i have started listening to Jars of Clay again, after about 6 years or even longer, i don't really remember when i stopped listening. i now question the intelligence of me writing them off as just another cookie-cutter christian band, of which i have seen many of. but no, Jars of Clay is something else... something entirely different. I talked with a friend over the break about music, and she brought up something i have never thought of before, something that is called the music trifecta. now, this isn't something that i am telling you to use or anything, it just makes the music you listen to easier to understand in a way. the trifecta consists of the three Ms: Music, Message, and Motive. now, the ideal band would have a good score under all three categories, with great music, a good message, and a pure motive (which is a little hard to find). for instance, i really enjoy a small english band called Radiohead. when i listen to their music under the trifeca, i feel that Radiohead makes outstanding music, but that their message is often confusing and cryptic (well, im not bashing poetry now), and their motives are ok. and i consider Radiohead one of the greatest bands of all time! this just goes to show that this trifcta isn't a tool to bash bands or anything, it just lends a certain intelligence to what you are listening to. now, the point is that it is very difficult to find a band that fulfills all three categories with the closest thing to perfect. to the best of my musical knowledge the only band i have found that can fulfill all three of these categories (again, to the best of my musical knowledge) is a band called MewithoutYou. remember, this is all based on my opinion, so you may disagree with me, and that is ok. but since i have started listening to Jars of Clay again, i have started to notice the pure musical talent that this band possesses, and how great their lyrics are. i have started to also notice that lately i have not been keeping track of what my mind has been getting from the world around me. from watching crass (but funny) television shows and listening to crass (but funny) music, i haven't exactly been trying to control what is influencing the words i say (if you have been around me, you know this is true) and just the way i have been thinking in general. I am not that kid in high school anymore. so, in a way, my return to Jars of Clay could be a step in the right direction as well. I need not fear subversive lyrics, debauch messages, or anything of the sort. they are another band that does the greatest job in the trifeca that i have started to pay attention to, and the bands that do are the ones i know who got it. the ones who have an understanding that transcends the music industry in general. it is bands like this that i want to look for, to listen to, and to bring me closer to God. this isn't to say that i am going to stop listening to Radiohead. not at all.

i've got friends

2009-04-07T09:49:00.000-07:00

Manchester Orchestra - "I've Got Friends"

this song came out as a free download a while back, so i listened to it quite a few times. nevertheless, it is cool to see the video that was made around it.

did i mention there is a fight scene between a bear (could be real...?) and a ghost? yep.

this is important.

2009-03-25T20:01:00.001-07:00

Shake it Out.

2009-03-24T08:59:00.000-07:00

the next video from manchester orchestra premiered today. here is the video:

Shake It Out

"I felt the Lord begin/ to peel off all my skin/ and i felt the way within/ reveal the bigger mess/ that you can't fix"

cue awesome.

Lutherisms

2009-03-21T16:58:00.000-07:00

"Next to the Word of God, the noble art of music is the greatest treasure in the world."

"Music makes people kinder, gentler, more staid and reasonable. The devil flees before the sound of music almost as much as before the word of God."

"Nothing on earth is so well-suited to make the sad merry, the merry sad, to give courage to the despairing, to make the proud humble, to lessen envy and hate, as music."

-Martin Luther

Where is this disconnect between the arts and God? when did glory change to self-glory? i read these quotes and i see where Luther is coming from, back in Germany during his time. i am heartened by these quotes, because i agree with him. but at the same time i have a feeling that the music he is talking about is not the music i am talking about.

this isn't a podium for bashing current bands or saying my dislikes about how music is now. i am not one to call rock "devil's music" or to denounce rapping or any other types of music. but i think there is a huge gap between the potential of music and what it currently is. in my literature class last semester we talked about how poets were often put to death or banished because of the words they wrote. poets had the power to set an entire nation against its leaders. but today, our poets, our musicians, have just enough power to just stay standing, barely... sure, you have bono, who can at times be a pretentious idiot, but is also the stanchest supporter of the poor throughout the world. but that is just one, among the many. sure, i am leaving some other artists out who deserve the spot light, but who are they? i have no idea... it seems like these days artists give money to causes because they are expected to, not because they want to, or they have a heart for them...

i feel like nothing shows the devalue of our art like the toothlessness of our music, the abstractness of our modern art. this is the "freedom" that is desired by the masses, this freedom from a higher power, from God. they want to express themselves, not others... God is not the handcuffs, THIS is. We act as though what we do has meaning, but we are blind to what little meaning it actually has. those who's lives have meaning are the ones no one has even heard of, because they sacrifice everything, even their lives, for the people that no one cares about...

lately i have been thinking about what it would be like to look at the people i pass on the street with the eyes of God, or the eyes of love (ha ha, God is love, right?). what would i see? i would see homeless people that would break my heart, they would be my brothers and sisters dying daily. yet i distance myself from them. i avert my gaze, walk faster... people ask what it would be like to see things through the eyes of God, as if they would love to. but the truth is, happiness is easier if one does not look. my friend tim told us one day about how one night he prayed to God to show him all of the suffering around him. and God granted his request. tim couldn't take it, he said. all of the pain around him was too much, so he asked God to take it away. this is the state of the world that we live in... there is only one hope for humanity, and it isn't more money thrown at people.

i am a cynic. i am a pessimist. i tend to focus more on what in life is depressing over what in life is cheerful. but i can see hope. i can see the solution.

i have gotten a little caught up in my thoughts, away from those brilliant quotes above, but this is IT! this is what i am trying to write! this disconnection! how is music connected to the state of the world? how is music connected to the state of people's spirituality? THIS is it. music will never be the same again. music is changing. the older people hearken back to a day when music wasn't as loud. and we will do the same, when our time comes. this isn't progress, this is regress. progress is moving forward... but we are not moving forward with music. we are slowing falling backward, trying to get back to what it once was, trying so hard, and failing.

once again, let me say this: i love music. i love today's music. i have nothing against the bands of today other than from a strictly opinionated basis... im just thinking, and trying to understand what it was like to write quotes like those above...

oh God, where are you now? oh Lord save somehow.

Jesus Christ.

2009-03-15T13:11:00.000-07:00

Jesus Christ, that's a pretty face
The kind you'd find on someone that could save
If they don't put me away
It’ll be a miracle

Do you believe you're missing out?
That everything good is happening somewhere else
But with nobody in your bed
The night is hard to get through

And I will die all alone
And when I arrive I won’t know anyone

Well, Jesus Christ, I’m alone again
So what did you do those three days you were dead?
Because this problem's gonna last
More than the weekend

Well, Jesus Christ I’m not scared to die
I’m a little bit scared of what comes after
Do I get the gold chariot
Do I float through the ceiling

Do I divide and fall apart
Cause my bright is too slight to hold back all my dark
This ship went down in sight of land
And at the gates does Thomas ask to see my hands?

I know you'll come in the night like a thief
But I’ve had some time alone to hone my lying technique
I know you think that I’m someone you can trust
But I’m scared I’ll get scared and I swear I’ll try to nail you back up
(everyone now)
So do you think that we could work out a sign
So I’ll know it's you and that it's over so I won't even try
I know you'll come for the people like me
But we all got wood and nails,
And talk dirt at hating factories
But, we all got wood and nails
And talk dirt at hating factories
Yeah, we all got wood and nails
And we sleep inside of this machine

-Brand New

good conversation.

2009-03-12T23:30:00.001-07:00

I love these guys.

2009-03-11T08:01:00.000-07:00

Manchester Orchestra - The Only One

Manchester Orchestra. releasing a video for every song on their new album. lend them your ear.

manna is a hell of a drug.

2009-03-06T23:24:00.000-08:00

it has been a week now without music. well, that is not entirely true. i have savored all of the hints of music i get, from the ones emitting from my roommate's laptop to the songs we sing in men's chorale. i have continued to purchase some albums that i deemed important (U2 and such) only allowing myself a little hint of what they sound like (yes, i know this is cheating... yeah.). i am still proud of myself that i haven't gone back to my old habits of just "losing myself to the music" because now i can see what a grip it actually had on my life. it is a drug to me, in a way. i am addicted. and how could i net be? the music i listen to is amazing, the emotion that comes from it is tantalizing, and the danceable beats are enticing. i really enjoy music. it is a look into the head of someone else, and honest look into what they think about a girl, the world, God, or anything they want to sing about. that is the addictive quality of music to me. when i listen to it, im not alone, im on a journey of sorts, a journey through what it is like to be someone else, to see the world in a completely different way. this is my drug, my vice. i keep coming back to it over and over again. music isn't bad though, but it has come to the point where it feels like i have made it my god, or it is at least more important to me sometimes than my God. and there is the problem, there lies why i stopped listening to music. i don't want it to control my life. i don't want to give it the authority over me that it doesn't even care about, doesn't deserve. as i continue on this journey of a bit of self discovery i continue to see the addictive tendencies that i have as a person, and how they affect who i am. and that is a part of life, is it not?

and such is life.

update.

i have also decided that i am not observing Lent anymore, because after the 40 days end i would just go back to my lazy days sitting in front of the computer listening to music. this being said, i am still going to do my best to not listen to music as much, and also make a fine effort to limit my internet time, not including the time i use it for homework. since i have gone to college i have developed into a sort of lazy hermit, who dwells alone in his room all day essentially doing nothing. i need to go outside and just be there... can my room really be the place that i only go to sleep at? maybe. we'll have to see. i also have been reading a couple of books, one being "Man's Search for Meaning" which, as the title implies, will be a very enlightening book. so, Lent, it has been great, but im going to have to brake up with you for a better plan. one that hopefully involves God as well, because i still wasn't really doing that either... here's to a life change!

what do i want to be when i grow old?

2009-02-25T23:23:00.000-08:00

this is pretty close:

why my life is forfeit... and God wins.

2009-02-24T20:58:00.000-08:00

the title has nothing to do with my entry. but in a way it is fairly accurate to what i intend to do.

Lent

: the 40 weekdays from Ash Wednesday to Easter observed by the Roman Catholic, Eastern, and some Protestant churches as a period of penitence and fasting

i have never really observed lent with a complete heart before. in a way to me it has been cheapened to some sort of weird christian torture that happens once a year for 40 days. you know, give up the thing you love the most for God, like chocolate, tv, or soda. while this does encourage healthier living, i don't think it is the point. and i have certainly missed the point. so, i just stopped observing it all together, not really being a part of my own personal theology or religion. but, i think that the purpose of this act is more than any religion or theology. it is all about God, and giving Him the attention and glory you normally wouldn't give to Him while doing whatever you would be doing. and i know that i need to do that, because the time i have been spending with God has been severely lacking... and so i have decided to observe Lent this year, but i won't really be calling it Lent, because i don't want to. what does it take for God to become a serious part of my life? making the conscious decision to focus on Him as a serious part of my life. so, in honor of Lent being a sort of torture for the person involved in it, i have decided to give up music on the weekdays for 40 days. my worry is that i give it such a huge precedent over my life, make it a god of sorts. and i don't really want that. so, hopefully, the plan is to just be silent, and still in the times when i would be listening to music. that is the goal at least. it feels like the right thing to do...

while im gone, keep these guys company:

on light bulbs.

2009-02-17T21:11:00.000-08:00

mine just burnt out. so, i guess i have to go to the store to buy a new one. isn't it funny, that something so small could control a part of my life. i had just decided that now i should probably sit down and start that homework that i had put off all day... but that little light bulb has sidelined those plans for now. im not angry at the little light bulb, im bemused. this little light bulb controls so much of my life right now. without it, there is no light in my room. it is usually the small things in life that have such big impacts. the little things that we push aside, ignore, don't worry about. it is those little things that can sometimes make the train that is our lives have to stop and think. which is what i am doing now. i was angry when the lamp wouldn't turn on. i went out to tell my roommate (who has a car) and see if we could go buy some. but, he is too busy. now i am going to walk to the stater brothers down the street to see if they carry them. if not, then, what will i have to do? i will have to change, to move, to seek light. it is this change that usually i am so afraid of in life, the change that happens from the small things. you usually never expect those small things to happen, to affect you so much. but they can, and they do. for instance, a quiet time is a small thing. in a 24 hour day, setting aside time for God that you would normally be (if you are me) playing video games, watching tv, goofing off. things that do not lead me any closer to God. so, this small thing, this quiet time, is important. it leads me to God. how can i say that i know God, that i commune with Him, that i love him... if i won't spend the time with Him. if i won't seek His words in the times of trouble, the times of peace, the times of happiness and sadness. how can i say that i love God?

isn't it funny what thoughts can go through your head when you stop and think? about life, love, the future... and to think, i started this because a light bulb went out. would i if it hadn't? i will never know, but what i do know is that i did think this... about God, about my quiet times. you see, i haven't been spending that much time with God on my own... alone... just me and Him. sure, i go to church and chapel, i sing His praises and hear His word... but not alone, not by choice. I am not hearing what i want to read... i am hearing what is read to me... how can i say i love God when i don't spend time with Him?

i was going to title this one "on control" and write about how little in life we actually control, even though we act like we control everything. while that is a subject i am interested in, i am happy that i stopped.... read.... thought... and deleted. would i have came to these conclusions if i had? no one knows. but it was this small little light bulb that caused me to think. to think about God. funny that something so far from religion, the Bible, Jesus, God would cause me to think so much about Him. why doesn't this happen more often? am i so absorbed in the world that is not of God that i am too prideful to even consider the world that is Him. the world described in the Bible and by friends as amazing, irresistible, satisfying, and completing. why don't i desire that? why don't i strive every day to be a part of that? how can i say that i love God if i don't want to spend time with him?

maybe this is the start of that desire, that wanting to spend time with God. for a long time i have talked about how i want religion to be mine, not my parent's, not my friend's, but mine. i want my relationship with God, the God who causes men to tremble with fear at the sound of His name, whose very appearance causes your life to even depart from you, who's presence is enough to drive you to the ground, such fear, such respect, such LOVE... how could i not worship this God, this God who is so real, so evident, so amazing? i want to get to know this God. i want to be in His presence all times. I want to be on His side. what other side is there? there are none...

some would call me irrational. others would be less polite. but most would agree: there is no God. and they are all insistent about this fact, this which they all know so well. well, i would agree with them: in their lives there is no God. in their reality there is no God. i believe in God, the creator of all things, i believe He is real and He exists right now. if you don't, who am i to tell you that what i say is true? it is not up to me, it is up to God. only when you seek Him will He answer you. if you don't want to see God, to know God, to hear God, to feel God, then you won't... unless God wants you to. it is through God which all things are possible. not through Eric, the one who sits here in the darkness, the one who really needs to go to the store and buy a new light bulb. how can i say that i love God if i don't want to spend time with Him, to seek Him out?

im going to the store. i think it closes soon. light will soon be returning to this room. a new light bulb will be there (well, hopefully). but i will still think about God. all because these light bulbs have burnt out.

I've moved back

2009-02-12T19:13:00.001-08:00

i guess the original reason that i moved was because i was having trouble understanding why gmail accounts can be so stupid even when they are amazing. but a friend has helped me see the error of my ways, and offered sound advice which i have taken. so, here it is, right where it should be...

in other news, it has rained a lot lately. this is amazing. keep it coming.

"It is bizarrely possible..." "or i'm a liar."

2009-02-06T17:10:00.000-08:00

Tonight i am going to go see slumdog millionaire. everyone has said this was an amazing movie (well, most people) and it is by a director whom i appreciate. so, i decided to go alone (well, no one is going with me) and then come back and write my thoughts about it here. this movie is supposed to be powerful and stunning,so, we'll see what i think. check back in 4 hours for my thoughts. cheers!

*update*

so, i just got back from the movie. the whole time before this, i was trying my best to not let all of the hype get the best of me. sure, its directed by danny boyle, who is one of my favorite directors, sure, pretty much everyone i know who saw it loved it, and, sure, it's up for Best Picture against The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (which i didn't really like at all). So, with no preset disposition, i decided to go tonight and see it. alone. which, in retrospect, which occurred during the movie, i decided that i am happy that i went alone. i sat about three rows away from everyone, so not to be disturbed by talking, and just sat and watched.

I am going to start with my first feeling leaving this movie. happiness. this is a movie with a happy ending (well, oops, i guess that may be a spoiler, but then, why are you reading this review anyway?). I was genuinely happy. Smile on my face, walking back through the cool, fresh air just after a rain, and i enjoyed it. I enjoyed this movie. i guess the only high expectation i had was because of danny boyle, whose movies i have found i enjoy. and let me tell you, this is without a doubt a danny boyle movie. no matter the setting, characters, or story, he has his distinct way of making a movie that is very obvious. one thing that i was pleasantly surprised at was the resemblance to his other movies that i saw. one scene even reminded me of 28 days later, which was nice. And speaking of the setting, characters, and story, i would say that this is where the success in the film lies. yes, it is one of the best made films i have seen in a while. the cinematography had me breathless, and the story never seemed too unbelievable. this is a well made film. you can come to me with all of the complaints you have, but one of them better not be that this was a bad movie. nothing in this movie was out of place, strange, or wrong. this is a good movie. disagree with the story all you want, but the movie itself is amazing.

And also speaking of the story, that is also where my wonder had a place to play. telling the story in that unique way keeps you on your toes, you being as genuinely interested at the police chief is in the movie. you cannot help but be drawn in to this young man's story of loss, pain, love, and hope. i have never seen anything like it before, and therein lies the genius of danny boyle, of who's praises i just can't seem to stop singing.

So, i would recommend this movie to almost anyone. taking young kids to it is pretty stupid though. this is an intense movie, and if they don't understand that, then they are too young in the first place. the wide shots of the slums with the kids playing in the trash and the thousands of people living there brought back my short trip to kiebera, a slum that i went to in kenya. it is one of the most heartbreaking things i have ever seen, and it brings mixed feelings to see it again. it will never leave me, those slums, those children. sorry, i got a bit off track there, but i feel this is one of the most important parts of the movie. the slums... those were not actors, and some shots weren't scripted. this is actually how people live. and will continue to live. and there is nothing we can do about it. if that isn't heartbreaking, then i will pay for you to go to kenya, or south america, or even here in the united states. stop living blindly to the world. that IS the world. we are the ones living in the fantasy... this wealth and health? this is what takes us away from what it truly means to be human.

As you can see, i obviously liked this movie. Don't worry, my personal experiences did not affect my opinion. If you have never seen what i am talking about, still go see this movie. did i mention that the credits consist of the cast dancing to some sweet music? yes, they do.

Danny Boyle, dir. on left, and Dev Patel, act. on right.

January 2009 is Over

2009-01-31T21:29:00.000-08:00

in honor of this event, one that will never happen again, i have provided two new songs from two exceptional bands. because i really like music.

the first is a song by U2, covered by a band i enjoy (as seen from below twice) called Elbow. This song was covered for a compilation cd called Heroes, which was made to help children directly affected by war around the world. not only is this a completely worthy cause, but it is also an amazing cover! the best part of it all is, in my opinion, the fact that U2 chose Elbow to cover this song.

"Running to Stand Still" - Elbow

the next song is by Sufjan Stevens. while he hasn't given much information on when his next cd is coming out (fingers crossed for Oregon) he does seem to have time to make covers; this one being a cover of a band called Castanets. the song appears on another compilation cd called Dark Was the Night, which was made to help people all around the world suffering from HIV/AIDS. yet another worthy cause! and, yet another amazing song.

"You are the Blood" - Sufjan Stevens

I hope those of you who read this blog enjoy the music. I really like the variety between the two songs, and especially the variety of the one song, You are the Blood. It feels like Sufjan took a little bit of every album he made to produce this song, and the completed version is one of the best songs i have ever heard. happy listening! and happy end of January!

tell me what you think...

2009-01-26T13:53:00.000-08:00

No Country for Old Men

2009-01-23T23:26:00.001-08:00

these great minds; one wrote a book; two made a movie.

if you missed this, you still have time.

i'm nostalgic.

Music and Thoughts

2009-01-20T16:45:00.000-08:00

Recently, as of 2009, i have been able to expand my music collection exponentially more than i did last year. I don't know what it was, but last year was a year to stick with the sure winners, the music that i already listened to, the artists i already am familiar with. Notable expansions were the Jon Foreman EPs, the new sigur ros album, and the new lovedrug album. I love all of these bands, and each of these records were what i have come to expect from them (especially the Jon Foreman stuff and sigur ros... in my opinion they released their best stuff last year). But this year i have decided to take risks. not saying that this is my new year's resolution in any way, shape or form, but just something that has come around. The bands i have stumbled across in this enlightenment have been The Raconteurs (and essentially, the white stripes), Animal Collective, R.E.M., The National, and Elbow. And i have a feeling that these are some of the best albums i have come across in recent years. Mainly i am proud of the selection, which i feel is really broad, kind of. I say kind of because is there any hip-hop here? any country? not really. For years i have said that i have no real musical preference. I was wrong. I love alternative music. whether it is alternative rock, alternative pop, alternative rap, alternative anything. I don't know what it is about alternative music (or why this music is labeled alternative...) but i like it. But, the purpose of all of this is to do a shout out, which is what i do when i feel i have stumbled across some gold that not a lot of people are aware of. I have done this once before, with the new frontiers, which is still one of the best albums i have ever heard. But this time, i would like to spotlight a band that is exceptional, yet has received little credit for their work till this year. The band is Elbow, and the album is The Seldom Seen Kid.
This album is one of the better albums i have heard in my lifetime. You may have heard one of its singles "Grounds for Divorce" in the trailer for the movie Burn After Reading, the trailer for the game Left 4 Dead, or the trailer for the new season of Top Gear. I will be honest in saying, while the song is amazing, it is not the best song on the album. The lead singer of this band has one of the more unique voices in the music industry, and you will come to love him for it. He has had many times in the past to conform to the music industry's standards, even with the failure of the album before this one, and he hasn't. And it is one of the things that lend this album the most strength. It is the story telling of the vocals, along with the soothing (mostly*), toned down (mostly*) music that is on the album. I strongly recommend this album to people of all ages, races, and creeds. This is what i call art.

One of the things i have come to realize about life is how little everyone actually knows. I am one of the more guilty of this, for, if you have ever argued with me, you can easily see the fool that i make of myself trying to prove you wrong; trying to be right. But i never really thought about it till now. Over break i had the chance to watch a movie called Sunshine directed by none other than Danny Boyle. The premise of the movie is that the sun is dying and humanity sends astronauts to go to the sun and essentially re-light it like a pilot light, but instead of a match they pretty much use one billion nukes. But yeah, the whole time they are spewing this science stuff at you, and in interviews the actors talk about how their views on life and the universe have changed since making the movie. But all i can think about is how much we don't know, but we say we do. We say that the sun is the way it is, but we don't know. We talk about space, and the universe, but we don't know. There is a phrase in statistics that is very common that many people never hear: The evidence suggests. The evidence never proves anything. It just suggests a possible answer to the problem. And that i what i feel is a huge flaw in my life. I take everything i know for granted, and in doing that, i believe it. I believe everything that is taught to me. I even teach it to other people.... and this is all stuff that no one really knows. We may be really close to actually knowing what we are talking about, but we still don't. Im not trying to be a pessimist or anything, just stating what is on my mind lately. And hopefully this affects how i live my life. I am tired of being a parrot** on a desk repeating everything i hear. I want to fly free through the jungles of the world and discover everything for myself. And so i fly.

*See "Grounds for Divorce"
** I have nothing against parrots. I love them. I actually saw a bunch of wild ones the other day on the way to class. They are loud and super annoying. But i love them anyway.

What is it like to find an old friend?

2009-01-10T13:59:00.000-08:00

This is always an interesting time in life. Moving from a home that is fading to a home that is temporary. That isn't to say that i don't like my home at all or anything, but i feel like it is starting to not be my home anymore. And my apartment is only a place to stay when i am at school... not a home. I am excited for the next part of life, a time when transition is over. But that isn't going to happen for at least three more years, so, here i am. In transition. So, as i pack up my belongings to go back to school, i think about all of this. It is weird to think that i am going to be living on my own in that short time, after i graduate. I will have to mature, i will have to take responsibility, i will have to make a life of my own. I have been so blessed to have the family that i have now. The love that they provide is priceless. And the older i get, the more i miss them. Ah, life... constantly moving.

While i was cleaning out my room here, packing clothes and such, i was suddenly struck with a thought. Quickly, i ran to the room that was formerly mine (now my mom's own office) and found a box of my old stuff in the closet. This is the stuff that i have had for the longest... old things that i had forgotten about, things i thought i would never need again. But, in this box, i found a treasure that i had indeed forgotten about. Blowing the dust off, checking it for scratches, prying old batteries (long dead) out. Yep, this is it. My old cd player. I was a youth between the two greats: Walkmans and ipods. So, a hand held cd player was how i listened to my music. Those long road trips over the bumpy roads, skips and all, i missed it. Excited, i grabbed some new batteries to see if it would work. And what cd was the test? i chose The White Stripes, mostly because it was the closest cd at hand, but also my newest cd, for i had recently purchaced it in San Francisco. And what did i hear? Was it the silence of an old friend, too old and broken to provide the service it was made for? or was it the sound of a screeching guitar and driving drum beats?

It was music.

It Turned Out to Be a Very Short Break

2009-01-06T20:05:00.000-08:00

But, before you break out the pitchforks and torches for me lying to you, let me reassure you that this is completely worth it. I guess that i am continuing on the same vein as the post right before the one below this one, but im not including all of that deep, amazing stuff about beauty that i wrote (and no one read). Im skipping the bread, lettuce, ham, and cheese to give you the mayo. And you know its because i care about you, the reader. I guess i could say some stuff about how its a new year, and cool stuff is going to happen, and i need to make a goal or two for this one, but, let's face it, it is pretty boring for you to sit and read all of that personal stuff about my life. Let's face it, that isn't what a blog's for, is it? Is it not better to hear all of that stuff in person, dear reader? And, whenever that comes, i will be sure to answer most of your questions in the vaguest way possible, as a reward for even finding who i really am. Yeah, im pretty much blabbing now, mostly because i felt bad about that lame 3 sentence blurb below about how blah blah blah. To make it up to you, my reading friend, i have just discovered (upon my umpteenth voyage on the HMS Jimmy into the wild Internet Ocean) the best way for you to spend 45 min of your life! You go on your laptop, probably spend way too much time on facebook or whatever you kids are doing these days, and then what? you feel lame for not exercising or giving me money! that's right! so i am helping you out by showing you a way to stay on the Internet for a long period of time and still get gratification from it all. And so, without further ado, i present...

http://current.com/items/89173668/sigur_r_s_moma.htm

Sigur Ros - Live at the Museum of Modern Art in New York, New York.

you can thank me later.

I'm Taking A Break

2009-01-04T18:51:00.000-08:00

from blogging. well, i might be lying. i really have nothing to talk about right now though. so, yep. to hold down the fort, i present level. this song is top grade and amazing. yep.

What is beauty?

2008-12-23T01:10:00.000-08:00

Beauty is the dew-slicked grass early in the morning. a sunrise after a fire. a waterfall carving a hole in a mountain. that flower pushing its way through the tough soil. a sky choked with clouds of wisp and of great size. the full moon. people. beauty is seen all over the world by so many people, yet few even recognize it. why is that? why are we so preoccupied with ourselves, our lives, our problems? we are human, and perhaps that is our main flaw. luckily, for without it all would be lost, beauty still finds a way to grace our lives. and now, if you have taken the time to stop by and read this, i would like to show you some beauty that is sometimes overlooked.

Sigur Ros - Svefn-g-englar

on salvation

2008-12-09T11:04:00.000-08:00

in church on sunday the lesson was about overcoming sin. the pastor basically told the story of peter denying christ and then christ giving him the chance to be forgiven. it was ok. but, while i was sitting there, mind wandering all over the place like it does sometimes, i thought about the word "saved". it is a word that seems to be the staple of a christian's mouth, along with jesus, bible, god, sin, redemption, all that stuff. the word makes sense, saved as in saved from hell, by jesus christ. and people run/walk around talking about how they are saved and how they want everyone to be saved, and , are you saved, oh, you should be saved, im saved and so on and so on. there is a problem here though. how do you even know? i have talked to people who say that they just feel a peace from God that when they die they will go to heaven. that is cool and all, but where do people get the guts to even say that they know without a doubt? God may know, and im not questioning God, i am questioning the person who knows they will go to heaven. i feel like people use this as a cop out from life. like, "i don't have to worry about anything anymore because i am saved! im going to heaven!". i think this is really really stupid. who are you to say whether or not your salvation is secure? you are no one, a nobody. who is man to say that they know the mind of God? in my opinion, we are all running a race. the finish line is what happens after death. oh, the catch? we are all blindfolded. no who is anyone to say that they are going to finish the race and get to heaven? no one. no one in their right mind would say that they are winning. this is what i have come to understand about salvation. people live their lives as if it is a given, and that is not right. i have my doubts if i will go to heaven or not. so how should i live? as if i am still trying. that is how everyone should live. the race isn't over till you are dead, so why stop running?

"As I walked through the park"

2008-12-05T00:33:00.000-08:00

As I walked through the park
In the spring, was filled with stark
Greens and browns, the new trees born
And I could have sworn
A leprechaun I saw, along the brook
Coming in for a closer look
Why yes, it was a little man
Dressed in green, not so tan,
Red hair, but no pot of gold
Which might contain a great load
Anxious now, I ran toward
To grab this prize, (praise the Lord)
But when I did, mistake I made
And all my dreams fade
I see a man, a dwarf in fact
Who gave my head a great big “crack!”
And this is why, in times of spring
I avoid little people

On Sin

2008-12-04T00:45:00.000-08:00

"God is love and love is real, but the dead are dancing with the dead and though all that's charming disappears all things lovely only hurt my head as I gather stones from fields like pearls of water on my fingers' ends and wrap them up in boxes, safe from windows, from things that break, as the night-time shined like day it saw my sorry face, hair a mess but it liked me best that way (Besides, how else could I confess? When I looked down like if to pray, well I was looking down her dress...) Good God, please! Catch for us the foxes in the vineyard - The little foxes. Turn your ear, musician, to silence because they only come out when it's quiet, their tails brushing over your eyelids Wake up, sleeper, and rise from the dead! Or the fur that they shed will cover your bed in a delicate orange-ish cinnamon red, ah, I don't need this! I have my loves, I have my doubts.
I don't need this."
-Aaron Weiss (MewithoutYou)

sin¹ (sn)n.

1. Deliberate disobedience to the known will of God.

A first time i would rather not have...

2008-11-17T15:13:00.000-08:00

today when i was walking back from west campus to east campus, i heard a scream. looking up, i saw a brownish van hit a girl and send her flying through the air. i was shocked, utterly and completely. i just stood there, barely breathing, as the people driving the van ran out to pick her up off of the street. Then i remembered my cell phone and did something i have never done before, even to just type it. i dialed 911. the phone rang twice, and a woman answered, asking me what my emergency was. i quickly told her that a girl had been hit by a car in the foothill- citrus intersection. she had me repeat the location, and then transferred me over to the azusa fire department, where i repeated what i said. they asked if i was part of the parties involved, and i said no, im a student on my way to class. they then said that they would send the emt soon. from there i walked back to my apartment. i had saw the people in the van slowly get the girl on her feet and walk her over to their car, where she sat in the passenger's seat. i would have just gotten in the way. millions of emotions were running through my head as i walked back. i felt sick, sad, tired, excited, and confused. I ran the scene in my head over and over again. she got hit. by a car. i never want to see that happen to anyone ever again, for the rest of my life. i never want to have to call 911 again for the rest of my life. and now i am off to a job interview. this has been a very very strange day.

It's over?

2008-11-04T20:10:00.000-08:00

i am going to join pretty much every other blog on the internet, but its all good. It is looking like the election is finally over. Some guy is projected to win, and the other guy is projected to lose. On the streets here in azusa there is cheering and shouting and jubilation. over and over and over again. it is so loud i can here it even here in my apartment. And while a wide range of emotions are going on all around me, from intense happiness to intense sadness, i only feel one. Relief. Not because who i voted for won or anything (to be honest, that is none of your business...), but because it is finally over. This election, like all of the elections before it, has polarized people into saying some truly hateful things to each other, on both sides of the spectrium. I will admit, i have joined in a little also. No one can avoid it, even those who aren't voting seem to rub it in everyone's face. but the saddest thing is that it polarizes even the best of people into saying things they will regret, if they have any conscience at all. This is not to say that i haven't met a few gems out there, people who truly don't mind how anyone else votes, and choose to love. I talked to some of these people the other night at a Men's Chorale concert, and it was a breath of fresh air. they didn't judge me, and i didn't judge them. We came to an understanding. that is how it is supposed to be! not this constant mud flinging... but, like it looks like, it is over. now we all have at least 2 years of peace, until the next local elections, and then the whole vicious cycle starts up again... but until them, there will be quiet in this nation. people will go back to their normal schedules. no more hate will be seen so obviously in the open... it will be hidden, until the next elections. i guess ill see you all then, in four years. who knows, maybe our nation will change... but i doubt it. here's to 2012, may you be an election year of love.

This Is Why People Hate Falling in Love

2008-10-26T00:23:00.000-07:00

yes, i did steal the title from the album project, but there is no better title. one of the most influential bands i have ever heard broke up earlier this week. yeah, i know i get pretty serious about music sometimes, hence all of the radiohead stuff i have been posting lately, about how they are amazing and the best and blah and blah. but, as much as radiohead has been an amazing listen for me in my college years, the new frontiers have done almost twice as much. I bought their cd on a whim last January, hearing how fantastic the album was and stuff. and it was. this cd, mending, has quickly become my favorite cd, and has accompanied me along the ups and downs of my second semester of college, summer, and half of my first semester of sophomore year. heck, i have even blogged more about their cd then anything else on this blog (not counting thoughts and art of course...). i don't really know how to explain it, but i really get this music. i understand it. and i love it. this is the one cd that i have never gotten tired of, and i don't think that i will. my emotional attachment to it is a little too strong i guess (ha ha, that sounds very weird...). but, when i read earlier this week about the break-up of this sublime band, i felt hurt. not hurt as in why didn't they talk to me about it before they broke up. more like hurt in my heart. i feel like their album has become a friend i can count on for the happy and the sad times in life, and while it still will (oh it will) i lament the fact that there will be nothing else. its over. the dream is over, the vacation, the friendship. ha ha, like i said before, this is a little weird for me to write, but i need some way to get this all off of my chest so i can move on... yeah. well, goodbye the new frontiers. your music is some of the best i have ever heard, or hope to hear again. good luck in life and on whatever journeys you embark on. you will never read this, and that's ok, i guess its more for me then for you. and you know what? it helps.

A paper...

2008-10-20T09:38:00.001-07:00

Eric Snyder
Faith-Psychology Personal Reflection
Psychology

When I think about my own personal values, and how I came to have them, one of the things that come to mind is the term “passed down”. I can see that most of the values I currently have are, in fact, my parent’s, which they have given to me in my childhood. Not saying that I am sad about this or anything, but the lack of my own value system, which I, myself, have created, seems a little odd. I have seen a lot of interesting things in my lifetime, things that, without my set of morals, would have probably corrupted me. But still, through it all, I never once had to make a decision in one way or another regarding those. I always knew what was bad and what wasn’t due to the teaching and parenting of my father and mother. I can even say that my faith is still kind of the faith that was presented to me as a child, a child who was forced to go to church and forced to go to Sunday school. I know that sounds bitter, but I think I should be in some way. I want church to be my own; I want this faith to be my own. But my parent’s influence still lingers in my life, as much as I try to escape it. Don’t get me wrong though, I don’t want to escape the faith that was given to me. I just want to radically question it and come out a victor, successfully making the faith my own. I guess that this is the basic structure of my personal belief system, sadly… I do want change, but I am standing in my own way. I am the reason I haven’t changed, but I get into this later maybe.
In light of my description of my personal values we now come to the actual question in this paper: does psychology help or harm my values? Right now, I can’t really answer that question, but I will do my best. Up front, I would say that I see nothing wrong with psychology. To be honest, it interests me greatly, which is probably why I am a psychology major. I love learning how people think and react, and about the mysteries of the mind. But I am slow to say that it is helpful to my personal values. Right now, I haven’t really learned anything that has called my values into question, either positively or negatively. My values are exactly the same now as they were before I entered the class, but that’s not to say that I knew nothing about psychology going in. I have read about things that are done in the name of psychology that both excite me and disgust me. But, once again, I still keep my personal values separate from what I am learning, until I can make a conclusion from my learning.
Whether or not psychology affects my personal faith is a different story, but with many of the same words and ideas. I have heard a few people say things about psychology and how it should have nothing to do with faith. While I don’t really understand their reasoning, I do recognize how psychology could be a topic that, when mixed with faith, lessens the value of faith. For instance, where some people could say that they received peace from God in troubled times, psychology would say that it’s the body releasing natural chemicals that reduce stress. To some, this statement is almost saying that God doesn’t give peace; it’s just your body doing what it is made to do. But even so, why can’t faith and psychology coexist in someone’s life? Doesn’t God have the ability to allow one’s body to release those chemicals and give them peace? Does that really devalue faith? I would say no, and that is why I have no problem with psychology and faith. Where the grey areas come in is where the ethical treatment of people and animals end. The reconciliation of faith and a psychology that destroys the lives of animals to develop a new cosmetic is something that just can’t happen. But, I don’t have this problem, so, I guess I can conclude that I do believe that faith and psychology can have a beneficial relationship within the boundaries of basic rights.
One of the things in psychology that interests me is more of a therapeutic approach. I would love to be able to help people who have suffered accidents or disabilities that are so severe that their mentality is affected. I would want to help people deal with what happened in their lives and be there to talk to. I don’t really know if this is an actual job right now or not, but the closest thing that comes to mind would be a hospital psychologist. I don’t want to prescribe any drugs though, I guess ethically I may have more of a problem with that, but, once again, I will probably go into that later. But in this aspect of my life I don’t really see faith having a conflict with psychology. I’m sure that they will compliment each other when the time comes.

As I Sit...

2008-10-06T00:00:00.000-07:00

I think. I think about everything that has happened so far this semester. From the first time I arrived till the moment i am currently residing in, which, consistently, is not the same moment as the one i am in now... and so it goes. I have started my sophomore year of college with a major and minor firmly chosen, with almost no doubt in my mind. I have chosen to become a Psychology major with a Biblical Studies minor (of which i am very excited about). And so I have started my new classes for the semester, which consist of mostly general ed, but, then, out of no where, one surprise! Hebrew. It's good. I like it. I think about all of the choices I have made so far this semester... almost none. I have chosen when to eat and when not to. When to sleep and when not to. When to think... There have been no crazy life changing events thus far this year (i guess that's what freshmen year is for...) I have been starting to get to know myself though, which makes me very happy. For a long time I was a stranger to even myself, not really knowing why I did certain things or acted in certain ways at certain times. But i am starting to learn, which is good. Change is coming, even if I don't feel it in the now like I think i should. Oh well, I'll look back on all of the old photographs, and that's when i will finally see the change.
As for my mind, this has been a very interesting semester. Like i said before, a little bit of self discovery and all of that. I am taking a Philosophy and Psychology class this semester, and while they haven't presented any information i would consider mind altering, they have encouraged me to examine myself, which all goes back to the self discovery thing. I have been thinking about the future more and more. Where will I be in 2 years? 5 years? 10 years? 20 years? Will I even be alive (hopefully)? I have thought about the job I want to get; seeing if it is even a reality... so far it still is. I have been thinking about marriage. My roommate has had two close friends get married this past summer (one on my b-day... cool). What will that be like? I don't want to get married right now in any way, shape, or form, but it is good to think about such things. Like, will I ever be mature enough to get married (the jury is still out on that one). What will it be like to live with someone for the rest of my life? When does the dream end, and reality begin? But, like i said, as much as i have been thinking about marriage (not really) I really don't see it in my immediate future. I have also been thinking about death as well. Not in a weird depressing sort of way. In psychology my professor told us he considered it to be the last state of consciousness... Still conscious, after death... What will that be like? Will it be bright lights (can i bring sun glasses?) or will it be like life is now, but happier? Will there be a golden city surrounded by clouds? or will it just be a conscious, unending state of existence, unhindered by anything that has to do with the body? Will i know anyone? Will i recognize anyone? Will i care? (i don't know if i will...). I have been thinking about life. What is it like to be you? How is your life different then mine? Do i really care about you as much as i show you? People's thoughts are their own, unseen by any other person. Does the mood change in the room when you walk in? Do people act differently when you are with them? Do people act differently when you are away? Why do we care so much about other people in one sense, but then completely disregard them in the same breath? I have started to care about people. Not in a weird sort of way, but in a value sort of way. Like i care for them because they are who they are. They are a person. A human being. I don't really worry what people think anymore on the outside, but on the inside i still kind of do. I am a quiet person before you get to know me. I tend to think that i intimidate people who don't know me, mostly because my lack of conversation. But, like i said, i am changing, and for the better too! Isn't that nice? Life isn't all about me.
God. Who is God? Where is God? Am I in His presence when i am doing things He has completely separated Himself from? Why does He love me? Why do i love Him sometimes and don't love Him others? Why do i need to see the physical in order to believe? Why is my head disconnected from my heart? When i pray, am i talking to God, or to air? Am i genuine? When i don't pray, does that mean i am seeking less of a connection with God? Can i cheapen my prayer by praying for the same things over and over again? What is God's time? What does it mean to be on God's time? Isn't God separated from time? I have been asking a lot of questions (duh). I guess it is because i am more comfortable that way. It's hard for me to describe and easier for me to ask. So, i ask and describe at once. I let you know how i am doing through questions. I don't need your answers though. Unless you are giving them... But, why do i feel that other people's answers can be real shit sometimes? I guess that should be another thing i should change. Why is it so easy to judge people based on the outward? If everyone could see what was inside, would anyone judge? I don't think so. If they did, and if that was true, then i think there would be hypocrisy killings. Or something like that.
Why does the TV think if i see a person that is famous wearing an undershirt i would want to go buy that undershirt? Does it think i am that stupid? Oh, wait, i am wearing that undershirt... dang.

Albert Bierstadt

The "art" in question

2008-09-22T00:07:00.000-07:00

looks, ah, something like this...i'd pee in it for sure.

Another Opinon

2008-09-16T15:08:00.000-07:00

American Spectator, 28th August 2007

A CENTURY AGO MARCEL DUCHAMP signed a urinal with the name "R. Mutt," entitled it "La Fontaine," and exhibited it as a work of art. One immediate result of Duchamp's joke was to precipitate an intellectual industry devoted to answering the question "What is art?" The literature of this industry is as empty as the neverending imitations of Duchamp's gesture. Nevertheless, it has left a residue of skepticism. If anything can count as art, then art ceases to have a point. All that is left is the curious but unfounded fact that some people like looking at some things, others like looking at others. As for the suggestion that there is an enterprise of criticism, which searches for objective values and lasting monuments to the human spirit, this is dismissed out of hand, as depending on a conception of the artwork that was washed down the drain of Duchamp's "fountain."
The argument is eagerly embraced, because it seems to emancipate people from the burden of culture, telling them that all those venerable masterpieces can be ignored with impunity, that reality TV is "as good as" Shakespeare and techno-rock the equal of Brahms, since nothing is better than anything and all claims to aesthetic value are void. The argument therefore chimes with the fashionable forms of cultural relativism, and defines the point from which university courses in aesthetics tend to begin-and as often as not the point at which they end.
There is a useful comparison to be made here with jokes. It is as hard to circumscribe the class of jokes as it is the class of artworks. Anything is a joke if somebody says so. A joke is an artifact made to be laughed at. It may fail to perform its function, in which case it is a joke that "falls flat." Or it may perform its function, but offensively, in which case it is a joke "in bad taste." But none of this implies that the category of jokes is arbitrary, or that there is no such thing as a distinction between good jokes and bad. Nor does it in any way suggest that there is no place for the criticism of jokes, or for the kind of moral education that has a decorous sense of humor as its goal. Indeed, the first thing you might learn, in considering jokes, is that Marcel Duchamp's urinal was one -- quite a good one first time round, corny by mid-20th century, and downright stupid today.
Works of art, like jokes, have a function. They are objects of aesthetic interest. They may fulfill this function in a rewarding way, offering food for thought and spiritual uplift, winning for themselves a loyal public that returns to them to be consoled or inspired. They may fulfill their function in ways that are judged to be offensive or downright demeaning. Or they may fail altogether to prompt the aesthetic interest that they are petitioning for.
THE WORKS OF ART that we remember fall into the first two categories: the uplifting and the demeaning. The total failures disappear from public memory. And it really matters which kind of art you adhere to, which you include in your treasury of symbols and allusions, which you carry around in your heart. Good taste is as important in aesthetics as it is in humor, and indeed taste is what it is all about. If university courses do not start from that premise, students will finish their studies of art and culture just as ignorant as when they began.
It is true, however, that people no longer see works of art as objects of judgment or as expressions of the moral life. Increasingly, many teachers of the humanities agree with the untutored opinion of their incoming students, that there is no such thing as a distinction between good and bad taste. But imagine someone saying the same thing about humor. Jung Chang and Jon Halliday recount one of the few recorded occasions when the young Mao Tse-tung burst into laughter: it was at the circus, when a tight-rope walker fell from the high wire to her death. Imagine a world in which people laughed only at others' misfortunes. What would that world have in common with the world of Moliere's Tartuffe, of Mozart's Marriage of Figaro, of Cervantes' Don Quixote, or Laurence Sterne's Tristram Shandy? Nothing, save the fact of laughter. It would be a degenerate world, a world in which human kindness no longer found its endorsement in humor, in which one whole aspect of the human spirit would have become stunted and grotesque.
Imagine now a world in which people showed an interest only in Brillo boxes, in signed urinals, in crucifixes pickled in urine, or in objects similarly lifted from the debris of ordinary life and put on display with some kind of satirical intention -- in other words, the increasingly standard fare of official modern art shows in Europe and America. What would such a world have in common with that of Duccio, Giotto, Velazquez, or even Cï¿1⁄2zanne? Of course, there would be the fact of putting objects on display, and the fact of our looking at them through aesthetic spectacles. But it would be a degenerate world, a world in which human aspirations no longer find their artistic expression, in which we no longer make for ourselves images of the ideal and the transcendent, but in which we study human debris in place of the human soul. It would be a world in which one whole aspect of the human spirit -- the aesthetic -- would have become stunted and grotesque. For we aspire through art, and when aspiration ceases, so too does art.
Now it seems to me that the public space of our society has in fact begun to surrender to the kind of degradation that I have just described. It has been taken over by a culture that wishes not to educate our perception but to capture it, not to ennoble human life but to trivialize it. Why this is so is an interesting question to which I can offer only an imperfect answer. But that it is so is surely undeniable. Look at the official art of modern societies -- the art that ends up in museums or on public pedestals, the architecture that is commissioned by public bodies, even the music that enjoys the favors of the public subsidy machine -- and you will all too often encounter either facetious kitsch, or deliberately antagonizing gestures of defiance towards the traditions that make art lovable. Much of our public art is a loveless art, and one that is also entirely without the humility that comes from love.
IT DOESN'T FOLLOW that taste and judgment are things of the past. It doesn't follow that art has vanished from our lives or has lost its meaning. All that follows is that art is being driven from the public arena. It is no longer out there that you find it, but in here, in foro intero. Art is being privatized, with each of us striving to remain faithful to visions of beauty that we are no longer confident of sharing outside the circle of our friends. One cause of this is the democratic culture, which is hostile to judgment in any form, and in particular to the judgment of taste. The prevailing attitude is that you are entitled to your tastes, but not entitled to inflict them on me.
Most American students come to college with this attitude, and are appalled to discover that there are people who do not merely disagree with their tastes in music, art, and literature (not to speak of clothes, language use, and social relations) but actually look down on their tastes, as inferior to some putative standard. This is very hard to take, and is one cause of the widespread endorsement of cultural relativism in its many forms -- since cultural relativism simply lifts aesthetic experience out of the world of judgment altogether, and therefore neutralizes good taste as a value. And the preference for art that desecrates the human image or the public space is connected with this fear of aesthetic judgment. By espousing what is deliberately unlovely and unlovable, you make judgment ridiculous, my judgment as much as yours.
It seems to me, however, that the democratic attitude is in conflict with itself. It is impossible to live as though there are no aesthetic values, while living a real life among real human beings. Manners, clothes, speech, and gestures -- all require careful attention to the way things look. In every sphere of human life, from laying a table to giving a funeral speech, aesthetic choices are both necessary and noticed. Without them we cannot solve the vast problem of coordination that arises when a myriad private individuals crowd into a single public space. Hence, in the democratic culture, aesthetic judgment begins to be experienced as an affliction. It imposes an unsustainable burden, something that we must live up to, a world of ideals and aspirations that is in sharp conflict with the tawdriness and imperfection of our own improvised lives. It is perched like an owl on our shoulders, while we try to hide our pet rodents in our clothes. The temptation is to turn on it and shoo it away.
Here we see another motive for the desire to desecrate. It is a desire to turn aesthetic judgment against itself, so that it no longer seems like a judgment of us. This you see all the time in children -- the delight in disgusting noises, words, allusions, which helps them to distance themselves from that adult world that judges them, and whose authority they wish to deny. That ordinary refuge of children from the burden of adult judgment has become the refuge of adults from their culture. By using art as an instrument of desecration they neutralize its claims: it loses its authority, and becomes a fellow conspirator in the plot against ideals.

- Roger Scruton, the writer and philosopher, is most recently the author of Culture Counts: Faith and Feeling in a World Besieged (Encounter Books). This article is taken from the July/August 2007 issue of The American Spectator.

is this

2008-09-12T09:50:00.000-07:00

art?the answer is:

is this

2008-09-12T09:48:00.001-07:00

art?
the answer is:

Is this

2008-09-12T09:44:00.000-07:00

art?the answer is:

Continuing the topic of music (mostly concerning radiohead) and starting a new one concerning art and my new thoughts and opinions about it...

2008-09-11T21:22:00.000-07:00

So, i was thinking about what i had written before, about kid a being an album i am starting to appreciate more, and i have decided to take a stand on what i believe. i am reordering my favorite radiohead albums. now, i know what you are thinking, will this guy ever stop talking about radiohead? is he obsessed or something? does he need to seek help? well, to answer your concerns, i do believe i am a little obsessed. no band before has managed to capture my attention and admiration for so long (mostly due to the fact that the band is constantly evolving and changing every cd). maybe this is just a phase i am going through, my college years being the ones that are characterized by radiohead and junk food. i don't think so. in the last couple of years, my musical tastes have broadened so much, and most of that is due to radiohead. i hated them when i first listened to them, wondering what the hype was all about. but, i pressed on, hoping to see either why people loved them so much, or why they hated them. i have found both. and my ear has eventually grown accustomed to the weird squeaks of some of their later albums (finally!). i can safely say that radiohead is a band that has changed my entire outlook on what music is. you may notice that this could be an odd band to do this, knowing that they do have such popular music. but, i feel that when i dived into the less popular and more experimental stuff is when i finally grew to adore them. i love what they have done with instruments and computers (which i am from now on going to group in the instrument category). so, what was written mostly for me (i know, greedy huh?) is now winding down, and my list is produced:

my favorite radiohead albums, in order, are:
kid a
the bends
in rainbows
ok computer
hail to the thief
amnesiac
pablo honey

yep, and this is not a very revolutionary list at all either... in this context. but, in my musical history, this is truly different, and i value that.

now, on to (one word?) the subject of art, i have a question to ask (once again, mostly written for my benefit, but feel free to answer if you like). i have been pondering this for sometime now, and i have been wondering one thing. i know the art is whatever someone wants it to be, like it is almost opinionated (or completely for that matter). but, if that was true, then someone could say that everything is art. now, for clarification, i am talking about art in a non-spiritual context, as in, created by God, because heck yes that is art. i am talking about man made, man critiqued art. if everything was art, wouldn't that devalue it completely? so, my question is, what isn't art? what can no human being consider to be art? are there even boundaries?

is this art?

the answer is:

On the topic of music

2008-09-01T22:16:00.000-07:00

Current Favourite Album:

Radiohead's Kid A

1. Everything in its Right Place
2. Kid A
3. The National Anthem
4. How to Disappear Completely
5. Treefingers
6. Optimistic
7. In Limbo
8. Idioteque
9. Morning Bell
10. Motion Picture Soundtrack

I didn't really like this cd (apart from HTDC), but when i started to listen to it with the mindset that: this is what radiohead intended to make, I started to appreciate it so much more. quickly becoming one of my most liked albums by this band.

Man Choir Pt. 2

2008-08-27T23:56:00.000-07:00

So, today we actually got into the meat and beans of the program. Harold went over all of the songs we want to have memorized by late september and we got cracking. i don't think that i have sang as many songs before in one day in my life. oh, yeah, and the first thing that happened was kind of funny. Harold listed me as a first tenor, which, as any person knows, is the highest part of the choir. this presented some thing of a problem, as i am a baritone. so after struggling for an hour to stay with the rest of the group, i told harold, and i think i am the first person in man choir history to drop so low in one day. once i got to baritone though, everything was fine. after 8 hours of practicing, with a few breaks and lunch spread in between, harold let us off to go get some dinner. after that, all three of the choirs: man choir, bel canto (the all girl choir), and UCO (university choir orchestra) came together for one big worship night and communion. it was amazing and so powerful! my friend likes to joke that it is exactly what heaven is going to sound like. i guess we'll see...

Man Choir Pt. 1

2008-08-26T19:45:00.000-07:00

today was my first day of men's chorale camp. after spending the whole afternoon watching arrested development, i was not really prepared for the deep spiritual level that the first day would go. i dressed up really nice and left my new apartment around 5:50 or so and took a nice walk to campus. when i got there i was given a name tag and then spent the next ten min or so meeting a lot of freshmen. i guess i look like a freshman, because many of the guys walked up to me and asked about dorm room and stuff. i kind of miss being a freshman, you meet so many people! after a bit of time, we all walked over to the Den, which is a grill on campus, for some great pizza and more socializing. Upon finishing, Harold, the director, gave us a brief game plan and we all went to one of the choir rooms to get our stuff. it turns out we have to memorize 17 or more songs by october... i guess i have my work cut out for me. then, we all stood up and sang holy, holy, holy, which sounded really good. Harold then had all of the board members, who are the leadership, stan up and introduce themselves, and then we all got it groups of nine around one of the board members. Then the most amazing thing happened! the board members went around and washed all of our feet. i have never had this happen to me before, and it was a profoundly moving experience. and i mean it. what it must have took for the board member to wash our disgusting feet could have only been God. and the whole time they are doing praying for us as well. i can tell that this is going to be an amazing experience already! now, if i could only learn how to sing...

Is the apple era...

2008-08-21T18:03:00.001-07:00

coming to an end? who really knows? is it even a good thing if it does?
http://news.yahoo.com/s/cnet/20080821/tc_cnet/83011357931002188537_1
and no matter what anyone says, these things are still really cool! but seriously, it seems like what originally made apple so successful and popular is starting to fade away. they stressed the uniqueness of owning an ipod or a macbook and how it made you an individual. well, now everyone has more then one of both... i am interested to see how apple continues to market its products, and if it will take that dramatic shift in vision that apple has been talking about for a long time. well, until that day comes, we still have our ipods to listen to and our macbooks and imacs to run our lives with. oh, i'm not saying that apple is going out of business or anything, im just seeing a slow decline in popularity. i am excited for the next generation of apple products for sure! and really quick, before i go, have you seen the new comercials that windows has sent out to get people to buy vista... to me it seems really desprate and sad. and a little weird: "yes, we know vista has a lot of problems, but have you seen what else it can do?" "umm, what about those problems?" "don't worry about those, check out how much vista looks like OSX!" yeah... we live in a mad, mad world for sure.

Worship on the Mount

2008-08-17T14:13:00.000-07:00

it was really good. thanks for everyone that went and helped make it so amazing!

All photos taken by Courtney Heald and used without her permission... sorry Courtney

Pinback

2008-08-02T11:23:00.000-07:00

So, last night i had the opportunity to pretty much go to a free pinback concert in del mar. i was really excited to go, because lately i had been really getting into their music, but am still a casual fan, which is fine with me. We got there pretty early and the concert wouldn't start until the races ended, because it was an after-the-race kind of concert. When it finally did start about 45 minutes after it should have, i quickly noticed something truly amazing to me. One of the lead vocalists (there are two) played the bass and was strumming it! that was crazy to me, because i've never seen anyone do that and it sounded amazing! and this allowed for other band members to also play the bass the traditional way if they wanted to have a sort of bass layer, which was really cool. The other thing i noticed was that these guys were all a lot older then i thought they would be. Pretty much all of them had grey hair... but, whatever, they make good music. The concert itself was really good. i went only wanting to hear a couple of songs from "summer of abaddon" which is the only cd i had, and they played all of them. success! the only complaint i have is because of the fans. pinback really attracts college age fans, and i guess when college age fans go to concerts they immediately start to get drunk and high. and then they get really angry and start pushing like crazy and shouting and being total jerks to us sober, not high people in the crowd. it got pretty bad where my friends and i were (which was an amazing place, pretty much directly in the middle front with only a couple people in front of us). so, after an hour of being shoved by angry drunk people and pushed around by really high people, we decided to get out of there and go someplace more open to just listen to the music, which turned out to be a good idea, because two songs after we pushed our way out of the pit they played "fortress" which is one of their well known songs and everyone went crazy! yeah, so we watched from the safety of about 50 feet away. i am sad that we lost our really really good spot, but i am happy that where we went to people weren't puking and blowing pot smoke in our faces. yeah, so amazing music and band, and terrible crowd. they weren't as pushy or crazy as some of the crowds ive been in, but the drugs and alcohol (and whatever else was going on) definitely ruined the experience a bit. but other then that, pinback was really good. so, if you can see pinback play, try to go where there is seating or you are the only one there.

Passion

2008-07-25T23:56:00.000-07:00

Today i had the opportunity to rediscover my love for editing videos. i had dabbled a little while i was in high school for a class, which was a really great experience, but there have only been a few times i have edited completely for fun or on the side. the lack of final cut does hold someone back some, but i had also just never really had the chance to try and edit again. Until now. at my church we are putting on an event called "Worship on the Mount" which is a really cool time to get away from the busyness of life and rediscover God through musical and station (different ways to reconnect with God) worship. in this i am playing bass, which is a really amazing honor in and of itself, because there are definitely people who are better then me that could play. But, today i got to go beyond that and be a part of the advertisement of the event (which sounds weird, because we are not trying to get the word out, not sell anything). My two friends had shot some footage and had a general idea for an announcement video and one of my friends said i could help him edit it as long as we didn't end up playing video games or anything. We didn't. i spent over 3 hours helping my friend edit the video, which turned out pretty good. it was a fun edit to do, and i hope that i will have more opportunity to do so in the future. and i hope everyone likes it. yeah.

here's a cool picture (courtesy of Rembrandt):

And the Dark Knight was a lot better then i thought it was going to be. Amazing. Terrible. Beautiful. Disturbing. See it in IMAX, it is totally worth it.

Could be cool...

2008-07-16T14:49:00.000-07:00